Cold Feet
By: Linda Ben
It was never easy to be me. I’m always expected to do what other people want me to do and I never get to be who I am. Luckily, I don’t listen because if it weren’t for my selfishness, I wouldn’t be who I am today. But who am I exactly? I think people classify me as a ghost.
In high school, I was a straight A’s student. My heart beat like a kick drum as I walked to my locker to get my stuff. Everything is so different here. I felt my cheeks growing hot under the florescent lights above my head, as I walked to my classroom. As I walked in, a boy smiled at me and a million butterflies swarmed through my stomach. It was love at first sight. I no longer cared about my academics or anything anymore.
The next few days, I felt my grades slipping out of my reach, but I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was to spend time with Brandon. For every class I would sit next to him and we would chat till the days grew old.
One day, our English teacher told me to see him after school. I knew it was about my grades. Rebecca snickered at me as I stayed behind after class. I felt cold, I dreaded this moment but he didn’t yell or scream at me. I was so relieved; I felt the colour slowly return to my face as he quietly told me that if my grades keep slipping, I would need a tutor.
As I walked away I felt the rage boil in my stomach. My breath came out in quick heavy pants. Without realization or regret, I stormed into the room again. I dug my nails deep in his flesh. I felt the bold vessels pop in his neck and adrenaline cursed through my body. As the last breath escaped his throat, cold sweat formed on my forehead. As I realized what I’d done, I felt good, I felt alive, and nothing felt better! I knew I should get rid of the evidence but I really didn’t care.
I slept like a baby that night. I had dreams about Brandon. I felt all mushy gushy inside. We are going to be together forever, together forever, TOGETHER FOREVER. The next day, I talked with Brandon about what I’ve done. But before he could say anything, police handcuffed me. I just smiled at them and told them to take me away.
I sat in a daze in the interrogation room. My mind drifted to much happier thoughts. As the police came in, I smiled and giggled. The police explained to me that I should just confess to them that I had murdered the teacher. I stayed silent. Fear mixed with satisfaction greeted me. BOOM, a truck crashed into the door of the interrogation room. My heart leapt with joy as Brandon’s truck greeted me. I knew he would come for me! I quickly hopped in and he drove away swiftly.
“I can’t stand a moment longer without you, “Brandon said. My heart soared, nothing can keep us apart.
Five miles later, I heard the distant roaring of police sirens. Brandon crashed the truck into an oncoming building, and he and I raced away. We fled into a forest. Deeper and deeper we went. As fatigue caught up on us, we decided to rest.
“Oh Brandon, what have we gotten ourselves into?” I asked, suddenly regretting my decision.
He looked at me with sad eyes and said “I’ve done what I think is best. Even though my judgment might be cloudy right now, this is what I want. Since the police are after us anyway, let’s just let it all out; live young and wild and free.”
I tried to hide it but a smile crept up my cheeks. I felt good, and suddenly very happy, maybe the rage that bundled up inside of me for years just had to come out. My instincts told me that something is wrong here.
“Brandon, we have to leave now! The police are after us!”
We dashed through the forest. Fear and strength pulsed through my body. Sure enough, the police were right behind us. We ran for two miles, straight towards a cliff.
“If you surrender now, we won’t hurt you, “The police said.
“I don’t care! You will just put us in jail, and we will be split apart! All we want is to be together forever,” I cried.
“It’s okay,” Brandon said. “If we truly love each other then it won’t be broken by distance or time.”
Sorrow and despair surged through me; I thought he cared about me more than that. The pain was replaced by anger.
“Before you take us in, is it okay if we have one more hug?”I asked the police kindly. They nodded to me.
As I approached Brandon, I hugged him tightly.
“Do you trust me?” I asked him.
“Yes I do.”
I smiled at him; I tried to convey all my thoughts in one gaze. I inched closer to him, and with one final yank, I yanked us both over the edge.
Life is a long hard gamble and we’ve lost. So we gave up.
