our heart beats || solangelo AU

Zero

[The story starts in next chapter]

Old Blurb:

Skin as pale as moonlight; luscious, dark hair grown to his shoulders in 'rebellion'; lips bruised red; scars littered his arms from dangerous battles (street fights); and feet unsteady from underage drinking, they said.

Rude.

Bully.

"Backbencher".

But no one paused to consider that maybe his lips were tinted from biting them too hard, maybe he grew his hair out because he thought is was pretty, maybe his battle scars were self inflicted - skin pale from the blood he'd lost - and maybe his legs shook because people were just scary.

... Maybe Nico di Angelo was closed off because he didn't want anyone to know his darkest secrets. (Hurt them before they hurt me.)

That was before a certain blond haired boy entered his life. They were similar, Will Solace was the only one who might understand, so what did Nico do? He did what he always did. Pushed away before anything got out; pushed away because his sickening thoughts weren't meant to be known to the world, and he knew no one could help him.

~

A/N : Hello, hi.

The blurb above was what started it all, a premise for what would end up becoming a really important work for me.

Self-harm will not be touched on as I am not the right person to do it, even though it was part of the initial concept. 

Thanks for clicking on this story. It is something that I hold close to my heart. It involves a lot of my fears and emotions that I decided to try and let go off, or at least put into perspective, using this fic. 

This fic is an embodiment of some of my deepest and darkest fears, some beliefs that I hold and emotions I have felt. This may not be your lived or envisioned experience of India but it is a probably exaggerated but still real depiction of things people go through. This is my way of coping with it. This is my way of making my stance clear and hopefully spreading awareness or support or anything this may or may not mean to you.

I worked really hard on it and I hope you are able to enjoy this story.

Warnings: Nico is implied to have social anxiety and internalised homophobia. He has unhealthy thoughts about social interactions and his own (as well as other people's) identities that I do not intend to normalise. If you think you have an anxiety disorder or any other mental illness or are just not doing well mentally, I recommend going to a professional. Please take care of yourself <3.

There will be regular updates every Monday, Thursday and Saturday at 8 pm IST/2:30 pm GMT/10:30 am EST/7:30 am PST, starting on September 1st 2022.

Yours truly, 

ReynaLovegood2 :) 

PS: I've written this whole thing beforehand so you don't have to worry about being left hanging or update schedules. 

 Current Blurb:

"Do you even have a pulse?"

Nico suppressed a flinch. Ironically enough, his heart started beating faster. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess you haven't looked in a mirror recently."

His eyes narrowed at the blond, maybe after sneaking a glance at his ridiculously thin body in an even more ridiculous school uniform that hung off his bones.

"Well, that's none of your business and—" Nico panicked for a moment as he searched his wrist, then tried following the teacher's instructions, until he felt the gentle thrum of life underneath his finger. "There! I d—have one."

"Really?" Will grabbed his hand (okay, so it was less grabbing and more of a gentle grazing of his fingers against Nico's wrist) and oh.

His eyes blew wide, and his heart pounded in his ears. Why did I let him do that? What do I do with my hand now? Can he feel how fast my heart is going?

Future doctor Will Solace hummed, and gave his expert opinion, "checks out, I guess."

~

Or an AU where modern day America is a lot more like rural India and Nico di Angelo has to deal with the threat posed by unconventional, annoying—and cute—blond, Will Solace, to the forged sanctity of his life.