The life changer

4|| 19 Weeks

Instead of my typical crop tops I wore to school, my bump was starting to get in the way. If I wore my normal clothes people would know and start asking questions. So, for today I went with my normal volleyball tee and some pants. Really didn't put any effort in myself today. Maybe it was the talk I had with Jaden a couple weeks ago. Or the fact that, I didn't care what people thought about me. Standing at my locker just in a daze, Sarina jumped out of nowhere. Which I'm glad my bladder hasn't gone to shit yet or I would have pissed everywhere. "Did I scare you?"

My eyes basically said it all to her. She gave me a half smile saying, "Sorry... How is? You know..."

Her eye direction shot down to my stomach. I let out a sigh, "It's okay, except for the mood swings that lead me to hysterically crying on my bathroom floor at three A.M every morning. Then extremely pissed off the next minute throwing shit across the room, but you know I'm doing great."

After talking with Jaden that night that's all I can do is cry or scream because life wasn't going my way. I wanted Jaden. Want him to be in my life, this baby's life. Want to tell him to truth without freezing up when the silence occurs. I turned my gaze to the right noticing Jaden walking this way. Which the nerves just wanted to make me up chuck all in my locker, but I have to pull myself together. He smirked at Sarina and I, "Good morning beautiful ladies!"

I could feel Sarina just staring me down, but once I felt them off me there was sense of relief. She then said, "Good morning to you to, handsome."

"Uh, Brynn? You okay?"

My head was sunk into my locker so that I wouldn't have to consider being drawn into those wormholes he calls eyes. Sarina then jumped in, "She had something bad last night. Just a bit under the weather today."

I felt her hand gently touch my back that moved up and down along my spine. Which didn't help the nausea. Then I heard Jaden's soft calm voice, "Awe! I'm sorry to hear that. If you're not feeling well, Brynn. You should go home..."

He wasn't wrong. Maybe resting would help, but that would just cause me to ponder more into thought. I took my head out of the locker slowly giving it a small push close, "No, I'll be okay. Should get to class before the bell?" I moved away from Sarina's touch and brushed past Jaden. Leaving them both alone which I know wasn't a good idea, but I needed to leave the situation.

I found myself in my normal seat in first period, my eyes caught glimpse of Jaden entering the threshold of the classroom and went directly towards me. He crouched down to get eye level with me, "Can we talk?"

"There is nothing to talk about right now, Jaden."

I continued pulling out my workbook, but his hand gently touched mine. Causing me to stop moving. "I know there is and so do you. Now please, can we go talk?"

Pressing my lips together, I let out a sigh following him outside the room into the empty hallway. I stopped halfway, "What did Sarina tell you?"

Jaden turned around then looked around, "Brynn, I really don't want to have this conversation out here. Let's go to- "

"No. What did she tell you?"

I didn't care if the whole damn school or even the town heard this conversation. "Why didn't you tell me?" There my body went completely frozen from the subject. Why couldn't I speak about this to him. He then asked again, "Brynn, please answer me. Why didn't you tell me?"

My vision began to become blurry from the tears building up inside, "I wanted to, but every time I got the chance. My mind would just shut down from the situation."

"That's not a good excuse, Brynn."

"What more do you want from me Jaden! An apologize. I'm not going to apologize for you impregnating me!"

That's when I noticed that's not what Sarina told him because his facial expression changed. His complexation went from olive to pale. Like he was about to just pass out, but he didn't. "Wait. What?"

My heart sank down to my stomach which made me want to throw up more. I moved closer to him getting inches away from him. "I'm pregnant, Jaden. With your baby..."

"With my baby?" I gave him a slight nod before he stated, "But, I used protection that night..."

"That's not always hundred percent. It must have broken half way through without us even knowing. Look, I know this screws up all your life plans but this baby is not going anywhere. So, you are either involved or not."

Before I could say more, I felt a light touch on my belly which caused me to feel paralyzed by the touch. My eyes trailed down to the hand then up to Jaden eyes that were locked tight on my belly. "I wish you would have told me..."

"Trust me, I wanted to but I didn't know how you would react."

His eyes then met mine in that split second. I know he wanted to say something, but he didn't. All he did was pull away and walk down the hall. Leaving me standing there wondering, why? 

***

It was the end of the day, no one was running through the halls or yelling at one another about after school plans. It was just peaceful. I stood at my locker rummaging through my duffle bag for my red Gatorade, but I must have left it on the counter at home. I groaned slinging the strap over my shoulder slamming the locker closed. That was when I heard a familiar voice behind me asking, "Looking for this?"

I slowly turned on my heels coming eye to eye with those pools of greens that made my mind scramble for words. Jaden was holding a red Gatorade that had my name written in black sharpie on the side. I let out a small sigh, "Where did you find it?" Asking as I grabbed it from his grip.

"Biology...Thought I would return it before you went to practice, but now that I think about it you can't play anymore."

I nodded slowly, "Yeah, already told coach... Well, umm thanks for finding it."

Before I could turn and walk away, he grabbed hold of my hand lightly. Which caused me to stop and look in his direction. "Brynn, I'm sorry for earlier this morning. I could have handled that a lot better than I did."

"You actually handled it better than I thought. I'm sorry for not telling you right away."

Jaden let go of my hand, "It's okay. You had your doubts and I don't blame you. I wanted to talk to you about your parents splitting this morning."

So, that's what Sarina told him. I bit my lower lip gently then let out sigh, "It's okay, things happen. With their drama, they haven't paid much attention to my problems or Kaleb's in the past couple weeks."

The silence then grew once again, but like always Jaden broke that awkwardness. "How about I take you out on a small date on Friday?"

"What about Ariel?"

"You come first, especially if your carrying my baby."

I couldn't help but give him a small smile and a light nod, "Of course..."

"Well, with that being said. Drive safe and I'll see you, Friday."

My heart started to flutter, "Sounds great! Text me with details, okay?"

"Will do, Stryker." He said before backing up with a big fat grin on his face as he turned walking out to the lacrosse field.

Everything at this moment seemed perfect because I felt like I was getting a happy ending to this story. That's what I thought anyways, but things change and so do people. So, I can't just fall head over heels in love with someone who is already in love with someone else. I'm just the mother of his child. Nothing more. Nothing less.