Delivery boy (discontinued for now... might finish but probably not)

Family

Note:

This chapter will be from Hinatas perspective. It contains homophobic slurrs so don't read if that is a trigger for you.

Family. I don't like that word. When you say it you think of a family of four. A mom, dad, sister, and brother. They live in a house in a nice town. Their biggest worry is that someone called their daughter short at school. They have a nice life. The ideal family. But when you see a family where I live, you rarely see someone with both parents. You see most people living alone. You hear yelling from the dad next door that sounds slurred and dripping in beer. You never see anyone with a car, only bikes, taxis, subways, and people passing in cars by the neighborhood giving pittiful gazes. Most everyone here has wound up in some unfortunate situation. I guess mine is fine. My brother doesn't hit me too much. Sometimes he kind of just doesn't acknowledge my existence and stares at the T.V. with a gaze that reminds me of a zombie. It hurts seeing him in such a state. The apartment always is scented with the smell of achohol and cigarettes so when my brother tells me not to come home for a couple days I'm glad to.

I miss my parents. They died in a car crash when I was six. Although they weren't very affectionate it was a nicer life than now. But at the time I didn't understand the word 'fag'. I didn't know it was wrong to like a guy... I wish I could take everything back. I confessed to a boy at school. I thought it was normal. He called me a fag. Apperently he learned that word from his dad. The word fag, actually describes a couple things. 

One: burning a gay person at the stake 

Two: A cigarrette. The kind you wrap or roll up or whatever.

At home I explained the whole situation to my dad. I asked him what it meant. My parents then tried to take me to conversion therapy at an organization called 'Family first'. I was only six... I know it's wrong, but it was a little extreme to send me to conversion therapy. On the way there, my dad was shouting at me. I started crying, wishing my older brother was here. When I started crying, my dad turned around to see me. That's when it happened. He lost control of the stearing wheel and turned right into a truck. As soon as it hit, they were gone. Because I started crying. My dad looked at me with anger in his eyes as they rolled him away on the stretcher. "This is your fucking fault Shoyo." Actually I should correct that. My dad's alive but has been in a coma for the last seven years. The docters expect him to die any day and they're really suprised he's made it this far. He wasn't a very kind person but he was my dad. I want him back. I already killed my mom in that crash... I don't want to kill him to. 

Because I started crying.  

Because I liked a guy.

Because I'm so stupid.

Kaito was my best friend before I killed mom. I'm supporting him with my job as a delivery boy because he rarely shows up to his work anymore. I just hope he'll forgive me one day. He's already done his damage and reminded me what I am. Maybe he'll say sorry too... except I'm the one who should say that to him. It was my wrong doing that made him this way. I miss my old life. My old family.