Leaving, losing, loving | Merluca

Part 4

“Can you stay a little longer?”

“Yes.” He whispered, carefully bringing his arms around her body, resting his hands on her back. He slowly brought her closer to him as if to show her that he didn’t want to go anywhere tonight. It didn’t take her long to let herself lean into him completely, letting her head rest on his shoulder for a moment.

When they pulled away again, Andrew was brushing her lips one more time, tenderly kissing her, before he looked at her again.

Andrew was stroking over Meredith’s arms for a moment before they made their way over to her couch. He sat down, laying his arm on the back of the couch to offer her his embrace and closeness if she wanted it. She accepted the comfort he was giving her. And she knew that he probably needed this as much as she did in that moment.

Meredith still didn’t really have an idea what was going on in his life since their ways parted. She didn’t know how he was dealing with his diagnosis. She only knew how hard it was for him to come to terms with it before he pushed her away again. She had only gotten an idea of what it must have cost him to accept his disease, after he came to her today. They also hadn’t talked about the problems they had before his manic episode started. But for today they had found a way to break down the most important walls between them and for everything else they would find the time to bring those behind them as well. She knew that they had a chance to make it.

“Mer.” She heard Andrew next to her. She had cuddled herself into his embrace, now looking up at him. “Even though I didn’t let you be there for me, you still helped me through this.” Meredith observed him carefully, waiting for him to elaborate. “Do you remember the Party at Jackson’s? I told you that ‘I wanted to burn that image in my head forever.’” They both chuckled slightly at the memory. “We wanted a lot to happen that night, but-“ he turned more serious again “But I meant it. That image of you. Your smile, Mer. You gave me the strength I needed.”

Meredith couldn’t help herself but smile at him telling her this. They sat like this for some more time until they came to the decision to lie down there on the couch. Meredith grabbed one of the blankets that was lying over the back of it to put it over them

“Thank you for everything, Mer.” Andrew whispered, pressing a kiss against her neck. They were both laying on their sides, Meredith with her back to him, in his embrace, after Andrew put his arm around her, over her waist. She took his hand in hers and tightened her grip a little to show him that he didn’t need to thank her for that.

Meredith had always enjoyed to have her own space, she needs her own space at times, but ever after losing Derek she found herself wanting to be closer to the people she loved. And today, after she thought she might have lost Andrew, too, she just wanted to stay close to him and hold onto him as long as she could. She knew she shouldn’t let herself give into him like this; not before they hadn’t cleared up everything. Not before they hadn’t gotten through all of this. But she needed this tonight just as much as he needed this.

…

They must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing she noticed were quiet voices next to her. It took her a moment to realize where she was. With whom she was. She felt Andrew’s steady breath beside her. His arm still loosely draped around her, innocently holding her waist.

When she heard the voices again, this time a little clearer, she slowly opened her eyes, trying to get used to the light. She was lying on her back, slightly turned towards Andrew. She moved her head around to see, who was next to them, when she saw Maggie and her boyfriend in front of her. Winston with an amused or happy smile on his face and Maggie… It was too early for her to read that expression. It probably was confusion mixed with something else.