This is literally my state of mind right now.
*Ash's POV*
God...
I stared at my clothing magazine, looking at all those picture perfect models looking GORGEOUS as ever.
Its just rubbing it in my face as it always does.
I wish I was that beautiful, the perfect body, perfect face
Perfect everything😭
In front of me was the bedroom mirror which caught my eyes, I looked up at it and smiled a little but it didn't last long.
I can't stand looking at myself...
I'm that ugly.
Tears filling in my eyes I threw my magazine to the side, the pages being wrinkled and bent.
I didn't care about that though, all I cared about was crying my eyes out in my arms, knowing I'm absolutely terrifying to human eyes.
No one will ever love me...
I'm not pretty,
I'm nothing.
Sneaking my hand behind my neck and pushing my hair off behind me I let my tears fall onto the carpet, my face being stained from my cries but what's the point of anything anymore?
I sniffed and wiped my face with my sweatshirt sleeve,
Standing up and walking to the mirror I leaned down to get a better look at my face.
God I'm hideous, no man would ever want me...
But *sighs*
I have to be strong for everyone...
I can't show a single sign of sadness, especially at a time like this.
I need to keep going...
But it's getting heavier and heavier,
It's not only my looks it's the fact that I'm living in a circle...
Everyday it's the same thing...
Working from morning to night and relieving the same horrible "Plan" the next day.
I want to be free,
I want to stretch my wings and fly away...
Let everything go...
I can feel my life being sucked away by the second...
*Stares at my face and cracks a small smile* no,
No...
No!
The brush beside me I grabbed and smashed into my mirror, shattering it into millions of pieces.
I slammed myself down onto my knees crying my eyes out.
*Cries* "god why? WHY!?" I shouted, my hand bled onto the white carpet but I didn't care.
I didn't even feel the pain slice through me, I was already to in pain.
*Door flings open* "Ash! *Sees me* Ash!" I heard the 24 year old man say running to my side and kneeling to take my hand.
It was Mike Shinoda, my boyfriend.
But why is a great handsome guy like him dating a worthless ugly thick bodied girl like me?!
I cried harder and harder, clinging to him
"No, do- don't look at me!"
"Ash what are you talking about?" He asked holding me tightly, I continued to cry, that was all I could do was cry 😭.
*Sniffs and wipes my eyes* "Mike why are you even here? I'm nothing at all,
I'm worthless, I'm-" but I was Interrupted by him helping me up and sit on the bed, he kneeled down in front of me and put his hand on my cheek as I continued to cry.
"Ashlyn Wisdom what are you even saying?"
"Mike, I hate myself and life all together! I wish I was away and free! I wish-
I-
*Cries harder* I wish I was beautiful!" I admitted, finally after months of pushing it down inside of me for the sake of my friends it's finally out.
He softly sighed and put his other hand on my bleeding one
*Sniffs* "A guy like you shouldn't date me, you could be with any one of those gorgeous women but your here.
Just let me go already, I'm only tying you down" I whispered, I meant every word too.
He should be with someone who doesn't deal with insecurity.
He looked shocked but he was able to speak calmly
"Ash look at me, I understand what your going through and I promise it's going to end. What your going through I believe most people feel,
And I don't blame you for feeling that, you are one of the hardest dedicated person I've ever seen. Your at it day to day and always managing to keep that smile on your face,
And when it comes to your insecurity,
You shouldn't think that way. You are beautiful, so so beautiful...
When I first saw you and you could ask Chester this for proof you took my breath away and you wanna know why?
Because you are natural.
All these girls you see in the magazines have to go through hours of makeup, but you...
You don't wear any makeup and your gorgeous and your body is just perfect *hands go down my leg*.
Look *rubs thumb on my cheek* I love you... I love you so much and everything that you do and are amaze me. *Kisses my cheek*
No one can ever compare to you,
I love you Ash Wisdom" he whispered in my ear.
I felt like crying tears of happiness but I was crying enough already.
I wiped my face and Mike took my bleeding hand and pulled out his bandana to stop my bleeding.
*Ties the knot tight enough* "Don't ever think down on yourself princess,
Your my everything" he smiled at me, I sniffed and scoffed a little.
But suddenly he smirked and then
*Jumps on top of me and I giggle as he smother my face with kisses*
"Mikey stop!"
"Only until you admit your amazing!" He spoke through his kisses,
I laughed but spoke:
"Ok ok, I'm amazing"
"That's more like it Ashie poo *kisses my cheek and slides off me* you wanna watch SpongeBob?" He asked happily.
Oh I'd never turn down SpongeBob!
*Perks up* "Heck yeah!" I said super excited.
Mike giggled, grabbed the remote and turned on the show.
I laid my head on his shoulder and we laughed and giggled at SpongeBobs craziness,
Mike's always made me feel good about myself...
I love him so much and I'm never going to let him go.
Yeah.
YOU ARE READING
Mike Shinoda Imagines 2🖤🕸️🖤
Fanfictionsince book one was such a hit here's a book two! same as the other one requests are open! just message me and I'll get on it😍 thanks and happy reading!!!
