tits and spare coochie

do not read this please <3

I changed the names because typing it out with their real ones hurt me.

When I was three I saw my own crack for the first time - I saw it in my grandmother's shiny cheeks. She later scolded me for diddling my pickle, but it didn't matter because she broke her back while masturbating with a shower nozzle. That grandmother is you. Isabella was there too, silently being rammed up her sweet innocent arse in the rocking chair, in the dark dingy corner. Unfortunately, a spider heard her sexual moans and crawled inside her lady parts until it was positioned behind her pretty little cervix, to optimally inseminate her future children.

Well, I went back through time using a portal I like to call 'Fine Wine and some Spare Coochie'. When I arrived I saw something dark and kinda moist. I now realise that this mythical object was the interior of Jasper's penis and I was a wiggly little fish. At this point I realised I was brazilian and therefore had a n-word pass, so I started screaming abuse up Jasper's urethra. Unfortunately, the screaming caused a rise in piss pressure, and his penis exploded-  causing sperm cells to fuse with the spider's sperm in Isabella's rotund little tubes.

This caused  a baby to begin forming inside of Isabella. But since she was three it caused spontaneous combustion in what many believe was an inside job by the US government. The huge explosion caused the smoke alarm to go off. Which caused my grandmother to jump - which is a shitty idea if you are jerking off in a shower, especially for the elderly.

The end.

"Tits and spare coochie in my area?"
"Uwu"

"This is how i plan to skip university - i hope they'll pity me so much they give me money. It's tough being a three year old fish, especially one that goes dumpster diving in stiff cocks."

-Zak 11 july 2020 at like 11pm