Phantasm

✉️

I'm Lisa.

I'm writing down everything.

Every last thing that has happened up to this point.

If I don't write this down, I can't be sure it's all real. It is real. I'm real...

What I'm about to tell you will sound crazy, I know, but it's the truth. At least it's what I think is...

The truth.

And I know you'll be hesitant to believe anything I say but if you believe anything at all, believe this one thing-

I. Am. Real.

For you to really understand, I need to go back. I lived- and still live in a small flat with my cousin, Fran. I go to college not far away from home- CVU, currently taking up English Major. I also decided to work part time as a barista at a coffee shop, Bean There Café.

Or at least I used to do all that stuff.

It's been three months since it first happened. Recently I've dropped out of school and quit my job after having been dumped (again) by my ex, Genesis. As it got worse, I left my apartment less and less. I don't leave my apartment at all anymore.

Three months back, back when things at least seemed normal, I first noticed it. I was leaving my apartment to go work for my morning shift as I normally do. It was around 8:00 am, rush hour when I left and the streets were busy with people. I barely live even 5 blocks from the coffee shop so it was just a habit for me to walk there each morning.

I'm about 2 blocks away from the shop and waiting on the traffic corner to cross. As cars slow down, the cross light turns green and I move among the group of people crossing the street. Just as I was halfway across the road, it happened.

As I was crossing, I happened to look up from my phone and saw someone coming from the opposite direction. We were separated by a crowd of people but I recognized him instantly.

Pen.

He smiled and waved, and instinctively I waved back. It was casual, you know, like how you would greet anyone you knew while walking down a hallway to class or like in my case, on your way to work. It was over in less than a second. In that time, all I did was smile and wave to this familiar face.

Except...

It wasn't a familiar face at all.

In fact, I can tell you now with absolute certainty, that that person was a complete stranger to me.

Now, I know what you're thinking. This happens all the time. You confused some stranger with someone you knew. And that's just what I told myself back then too. But this wasn't that. No. It was more like a kind of reverse Deja vu. You know with Deja vu how you get stuck in this feeling of half remembering? Like some memory lingering in the back of your mind but you just can't make it out?

Well this was the exact opposite.

When I saw that person I knew exactly who he was. I knew his face, what he typically wore, how we first met, everything. Hell, I could even imagine how he talked and he never even said a single word.

All he did was wave.

But in an instant...

Nothing.

I couldn't remember him.

And this is what I mean, it wasn't like Deja vu, I barely can't remember. No. I couldn't remember anything, and I'm not just talking about his name. I couldn't couldn't even remember what he looked like. And this was only like, what? 6 seconds ago? Less than that. I looked back but he has disappeared into the crowd.