Golden | H.S.

Chapter 19

A/N: Hello! This song is my favorite song by Niall. Genuinely, this is his best song and that is not up for debate. When I first heard it, I was in my car and I literally gasped when it came on. He really outdid himself, it's so good.

THE HIGH NOTE?? IM LISTENING TO IT AS I TYPE AND I FR TEARED UP OMFG :')

And as usual, D wrote it in this book lol. I'll let you know when to play it, ofc <3

Again, sorry in advance? kinda? Just a small lil detail that may or may not make you angry haha

Enjoy!

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I felt broken. I felt hurt. I felt stupid.

I felt like high school me. The me that I had tried so hard to get rid of. I couldn't help but hate Harry a little for that.

I was glad I had taken that picture in London, though. It lasted longer than him.

The first few weeks were the toughest. I saw him in everything around me. Every movie, every song, every boat, every honeybee that flew by me. Every ray of sunshine pouring into my room.

I hadn't spoken to him or seen him since he walked out of my door.

It sucked. I'd stopped crying after the first few days. Not because it hurt any less but because my eyes had grown swollen and people were starting to get concerned. Seb, Sarah, and Gemma had been my rocks through it all. Seb especially. Anytime I felt anything, I told him. And he listened. Every single time.

Sarah was sweet. She contacted me after our breakup had broken the news. I didn't like that the world got to deal with my breakup before I fully had, but this was my life now. The first two weeks, she called every day and asked me how I was feeling. I appreciated it beyond belief, and I was lucky she was in my life.

Gemma was the hardest to talk to. She spoke like him, laughed like him, looked like him. But that wasn't her fault. And I wasn't going to cut her out of my life for that. Especially since the first time she called, her first words were, "I'm going to strangle that moronic pile of dog shit." She was the first one to make me laugh.

It's been a little over a month now, and news just broke that Harry was seen out with Ilanna.

Sarah's the first one to call me. "D, I'll kill him. Say the word and I'll do it."

I let out a dry chuckle, my voice hoarse. "Thanks, S. It's alright. It sucks. But it's alright. He has every right to do whatever he wants and whoever he wants."

And clearly, what he wanted was a stick-thin model with blonde hair. I couldn't help but feel a little bad about myself. I looked nothing like that. It was why I'd been so insecure when we started dating. But he made me feel beautiful and confident and right now, I felt the opposite of that. So I couldn't help but hate Harry a little more now.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why he's-"

"Have they slept together?" I interrupted her. I hated myself for asking. It was none of my business. But the possibility of them doing what I'd only ever done with him, something that meant so much to me, was something I had to know.

"Oh, um." That was her only response and it was all I needed to know.

I let out a deep breath and throw my head back on my pillow. "Right. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"I'm sorry." She repeats.

"It's fine. I have to go now, Sarah, but thanks for checking on me. You're the best. I'm glad tour is going well so far. You're smashing it." I tell her.