today is going to be different

Today is gonna be different

Today is gonna be different,I know it will.I convinced myself it was all going to be okay.I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror.Today was the day I wasn't going to starve myself,I would eat and eat until I was full and I won't throw it up straight after,I got this.I'm not going to look at other girls posts and cry and feel insecure because today is going to be different.Today is the day I will look at my body and smile rather than cry and starve so I can look like those beautiful myself models because I am beautiful myself.I am worth it I told myself and I need to try my best and keep on going because I am needed on this earth.If I went so many people would be broken I thought my whole family,friends,siblings,anyone who knows me and so will I,I would be hurt in so many ways seeing my mum break down over her happy little girl who faked a smile on her face everyday.But I will still carry on going not only for me,but for her and everyone else.Today is the day I will not fake my smile,my smile will be real and I will laugh and be happy all day long.I will go out with my friends and dance in the rain till the last rain drop drops on the ground,I will go out with my family and tell them how much they mean to me.Today I won't think about what people think and what expectations people have for me,I will think about myself and I won't care because i'll smile through whatever they say because this is me and I won't change for anyone.Today is going to be different,I believe it will.