Diary Of A Wimpy Kid. HELP

First day of School

Monday

Most people say a girl or a boy will get you everything, mom says

" Get a girlfriend and everyone will be jealous"-Mom 2020. That's what she said about the rest

I normally hang out with rowley but today he wasn't here. Man, I really needed his help on the social studies quiz. I heard a girl ask me the way to her seat. She was beautiful with hair as bright as the sun and smile as big as the grand canyon. I walked her over and showed her the seat. Some boys whistled and hooted and embarrassed me but the one person that didn't laugh was Holly Hills I sorta liked her but that was a long time ago. I sat down and whizzed through my quiz and finished when Ashley did and we got up and put in the papers side by side. She accidentally touched my hand and we both blushed. I heard a anger growl escape the bot of Holly's mouth as she saw that. She put her papers in and then sat back down in disgust.

Tuesday

Well, I got a call from Rowley he told me he was going to Jamaica on one of his family's expensive trips. I got up and read a comic book and I envisioned Ashley sitting next to me reading as well. I heard mom coming upstairs so I closed the book and went to meet her. She told me I had a special guest and that I needed to go downstairs. I Ran down the stairs to expect Ashley but what did I get? A Fregly. He looked at me and ran in for a hug. I bolted out the front door and onto the street. I heard somebody laugh and then more. I was almost naked except for a leaf on my crotch. I ran inside in embarrassment and said to Fregly there was some candy at his house. He ran outside and that was it. I knew I was gonna be the most embarrassed kid.

Friday

Nothing much happened after those few days except for my new nickname. "Greg and Eve" I didn't like that nickname but the tripping wasn't much better either speaking that I had my phone on me. That ladybug is indestructible. I saw Ashley in the hallway and tried to talk to her but, the bell doesn't do some saves and ringed. I WAS GONNA BE LATE FOR HEALTH! Mom always said I had to pass health class to get a new phone. I rushed in the room and sat down. The teacher Ms Grendel said boys and girls will be split. I saw the boys teacher go with the girls and the girls teacher go with us boys. I was excited for the movie to teach us how to do like a lifesaver move or something. Hold on I gotta watch this.

I am not going to talk about what just happened besides rowley passing out after they said something about your crotch and what it is supposed to do.

Saturday

I lounged around and sat down and read some comics.

" Good news everyone, there will be the couple's Winter Wonderland dance. We thought it would cancel after the mayor ran out of money but some unlucky mayor got hit by a bullet. Well said Barbara Hahaha" I turned of the tv and thought of Ashley. I also heard that middle school gets it own Dance In the Winter Season.

I instantly dig through my old school stuff to find my yearbook. If I could find her last name in it maybe I could find out her number or address. I flipped to the back page and saw Holly's signature on it. I stared at it and then I threw it back in the pile.

September 10th

Today I got Ashley's number and I got super excited and ran home and added it to my contacts. I then got ready and thought about what to do. I got some Cologne from Axe Body spray and stored it under my bed for the dance. I took a shower and dreamed of Ashley. Apparently feet are dangerous and can knock down the drain. The water flowed over the rim and I ended up in the emergency room for almost drowning.

I also learned Manny DRANK my cologne and almost died of poisoning. And of course we all have to go through *The Talk* but grammie did mine? Or so I thought you see mom and dad work like this. Smooth sailor. Meet monkey and monkey crash boat. Greg sailing. Ashley grab boat and crash boat. Greg die. Monkey dance.

That is basically what happens and they told me that I will have to deal with this romantic stuff by myself. I honestly didn't listen but I still payed attention to words such as Kiss, Kids, Make out, Puberty, Depression, etc.

Thursday

Holly invited me over to a party she was throwing for her birthday. She wore a red dress with a collar on it with a rose. I showed up as fancy as possible to try and score some money. I walked over to get some cheese and I felt a hand walk on my shoulder. I saw that Fregly was touching me. I dropped the cheese on the floor which Fregly ate and I ran over to Chirag Gupta and asked him where to hide. He said outback in the hot tub but be careful. I ran out the door and saw some middle age women getting out without a towel shriek.

I ran inside punched Chirag in the arm and he laughed. I got called by mom to the hospital. I waited for the car and mom was crying a bit. I asked her what's wrong and she said your siblings are the greatest thing you can have. Make sure you love them. I knew the standard protocol of love you brothers etc but this seemed different.

Friday

I had to skip school today because of something. I waited a few hours and then went into the room mom crying dad frowning manny eating a lego. Roderick looked bald as ever then the doctor told me. Roderick had stage 4 cancer and was dying a painful death. S*ht.