I'm fine

Chapter 1: Together again

Stone's POV

The summer of 2000 was finally coming to an end as the band gathered again for their first collective rehearsal on their upcoming European tour after the release of "Binaural". Even though it was almost autumn the sun was burning down merciless in Chicago leaving them sweating and exhausted. The first one to arrive at the rehearsing place, that was a small house a little outside of town, was Stone. Because Eddie usually was the keeper of the keys, Stone sat down on the porch to avoid the sun and waited for his other band mates to show up. It had been a long time without seeing them altogether, even though he had been in regular contact with Jeff, Mike and Matt. Solely Eddie had sealed himself off from everyone to wander in his own headspace as he had always done, so Stone wasn't too worried that he hadn't heard from him in the last two and a half months. While Stone was thinking about his friend, he heard a squeaking sound coming from the distance and he lifted his head from staring down at his feet.

Eddie was approaching on his bike, that looked like it was slowly falling apart. Stone chuckled to himself. Of course Eddie still didn't get anew one. He had rarely been able to separate himself from his old belongings. Eddie waved at him and gave him a dimpled grin. "Hey there." he said and leant his bike against the porch's railing."Hey yourself!" Stone answered with a smile. His smile though quickly turned into a more concerned look when Eddie was coming up the stairs towards him. His friend looked a lot thinner than Stone remembered him from two months ago. Even though his skin had gotten quite a tan because of the surfing he had probably done the past weeks, he had dark shadows under his eyes and his face seemed to be much slimmer. "Are you alright? You don't look so hot." Stone asked while arching his eyebrows. Eddie shot him an annoyed look. "I haven't been sleeping so well.. that's it. I'm fine." he lowered his gaze again and fumbled out the keys for the front door. "Well, whatever you say. How's your time off been? You never called me." Stone said and he didn't even try to hide the reproachful tone in his voice. Eddie smirked at him a little priggish. "Aww Stoney, I think you missed me." and he turned from the now open door to face Stone again and spread out his arms. "Come give me a hug." "You're such an idiot." Stone muttered but regardless he stepped over and gave the smaller man a hug. That was when he started to worry again,because he could feel Eddie's bones through the thin fabric of his shirt that was hanging quite losely around his body. Nevertheless Stone didn't feel like approaching the topic of Eddie's well being again so he stepped out of the hug and made his way through the door." Ah look, the others are coming!" he heard Eddie yell from behind him.

The first two hours were spent without picking up any instruments but talking, laughing and providing updates for everyone concerning new music but also private stuff. Finally it was Eddie to interrupt the conversation: "Time to make some music, guys. Otherwise I'm gonna be too tired to get anything done." he yawned and pushed himself up from the sofa that he has been sharing with Jeff and Mike. The others exchanged some surprised looks, because it was quite unsusual for Eddie to shut down a meaningful and engaging discussion. Mike was the next one to stand up and he shrugged: "Who am I to complain about playing music? Come on guys." and he followed Eddie who already had made his way into the rehearsing studio. After spending so many weeks apart, they all needed some time to find their place within the music again, but after a little warm up, it seemed like they had never stopped. Another three hours went by and it was getting dark outside. Even though the sun was leaving, the air didn't cool off much and the air condition in the room wasn't the best so the band decided that it had been enough rehearsing for the day. Mike, Jeff and Matt were the first to leave as they all arrived in Mike's car, because they were living close by each other. "Well, that was fun. I really missed playing with you all, man." Jeff patted Stone and Eddie on the shoulder. "So we're gonna meet tomorrow again then?" "Yeah, we will. I missed you, too." Eddie gave Jeff, Mike and Matt a short hug while smiling. "I'm gonna turn off the lights and amps and stuff. See you tommorrow then." he waved at them and disappeared into the house again. "Bye, Ed." Matt watched Eddie's figure step around the corner and turned to Stone. "What's going on with him? He doesn't look so good, right?" Stone felt relieved that he wasn't the only one to notice and he shook his head. "I don't really know. I tried to talk to him before you guys arrived, because he's gotten so skinny, but he just waved it off." "Yeah, that sounds a lot like him." Jeff's voice showed a lot of concern that Stone could understand very well. He was fucking worried himself. "Well, I will look after him very closely for the next weeks, alright? But maybe it'll be better for you to just treat him as normal as possible. I don't want him to shut down completely." Stone didn't want his friends to burdain themselves too much so he thought it was best to take care of Eddie himself. Maybe it wasn't anything serious and they were worrying for no reason at all. "Sounds alright. I also don't want him to be overwhelmed with concern." Jeff nodded in aggreement as well as Mike and Matt. "So see you later guys. I'm gonna head inside,too and double check everything." Stone waved them goodbye and entered the house again. He found Eddie in a sitting position on the couch in an almost completely dark room as the lights were already turned off. He slowly made his way over when he recognized the deep and a little ragged breathing sounds. Eddie seemed to be asleep because there was no movement from him when Stone quietly satdown beside him. He wasn't quite sure wether to wake him or just let him sleep, but he didn't like the thought of Eddie being out here on his own so he decided to carefully wake him up. Stone wasn't sure where the impulse came from but he suddenly felt the very strong need to take care of his friend, who obviously wasn't feeling so well at the moment.

He lifted his hand to Eddie's face and pushed some of his dark curls out of his closed eyes. "Hey, Ed. You wanna sleep here, buddy?" he carefully patted the smaller man's cheek when Eddie's eyes started to flutter. "Stone? I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to fall asleep, I just wanted to sit down for a moment, because I was a little dizzy." he mumbled with his eyes still closed. "Why are you still here?" Eddie's voice was not more than a whisper but he finally opened one eye to look up at Stone who was bent down above him. "I was worried about you so I came back to look for you. Are you sick, Ed?" Stone was afraid of the answer but he really needed to know the truth. "Not that I know of, no. I'm just having trouble sleeping at the moment." Eddie had closed his eye again and now rested his head against Stone's shoulder. "You also lost a lot of weight, Ed. Aren't you eating enough?" Stone didn't want to interrogate his friend but this issue was nothing to be taken with levity. "I don't know actually. I don't have much of an appetite lately.." Eddie shrugged and sighed. "Are you done questioning me?" he lifted his head from Stone's shoulder and ran a hand through his thick curly hair." Yes, for now." Stone answered not completely satisfied and Eddie chuckled quietly. "Don't be so grumpy now." he got up but swayed dangerously and Stone was there immediately to prevent him from slumping down. "Woah, careful Ed. I got you." he felt his friend leaning against him for support and just waited for Eddie to regain some of his strength. "Sorry, I must've gotten up too quickly. I'm good now, you can let go of me." Eddie pushed against the taller man's chest lightly to assure him that he was alright. Stone took a step back but he was still ready to catch him. Luckily the singer had regained the strength to keep himself upright on his own. When Eddie slowly started to walk towards the door, Stone followed him. "Hand me the keys, I'll lock it." Eddie didn't complain and held out the keys for him while he kept on walking. Stone took them out of his hand and when they exited he closed the door and turned the key. Meanwhile Eddie had sat down again burying his head in his hands. He felt Stone's gaze on him and quickly looked up to meet his eyes that were filled with a lot of worry. "I think I still need to rest a little before I drive home." he lowered his head again. Stone let out a disbelieving laughter. "You're in no fucking state to be driving home on your bike, Ed." Stone could feel himself getting angry. Eddie was such a stubborn idiot. "I'll get you home. I can fit your bike in my trunk. Come own." Stone bowed down and grabbed the young man's shoulders. "I don't need your fucking help."Eddie's deep voice was filled with frustration and Stone immediately felt sorry for him. He probably had no idea what or if something was wrong with him, but Stone needed him to be okay for the night. "Eddie I don't want to baby you, alright? I just don't want you to end up in the gutter tonight. You're gonna feel better tomorrow, just get some rest now and let me drive you home." he pleaded to his friend's sanity. "I'm sorry, you're right. I just feel fucking exhausted. Thanks Stoney." Eddie got himself upright more slowly this time and made his way down the stairs where Stone had parked his pickup. The drive home was quiet, but neither of them felt the need to talk. After ten minutes, Stone recognized that Eddie had fallen asleep again. "He just needs rest and sleep", he reassured himself. "It might just be a phase, everyone feels a little off now and then."When he arrived at Eddie's house he stopped the car and turned off the engine. "Are we there?" Eddie's drowsy voice ended the silence and Stone turned to his right to face the smaller man whose body was slumped against the car door. "Yeah, Ed. Can you make it inside yourself or do I need to carry you?" Stone tried to lighten the mood a little. "That's quite an inviting offer, Gossard, but I don't want you to hurt your back." Eddie winked at him and pushed the car door open. "Have a good night." He was almost out of the car when he turned at Stone again and quickly put his hand on the other man's. "Thanks." he mumbled and left the car. Stone watched as Eddie walked up to his house and turned on the engine again. He drove off to the sound of a closing door. At home, he went to bed right after having dinner, but he couldn't stop worrying about his friend. After almost three hours of racing thoughts he finally managed to fall asleep.