Death wish

Their arrival.

5th October 1892, the day of my fathers death. Ever since I walked into that basement, where his lifeless body was laying on the ground. I haven't been the same. Father was usually never at home and when he was, he would just stay in the basement. It had multiple locks, like he was trying to hide something, sometimes I heard noises coming from down there, horrifying screeches leaving my soul scarred. It was the 7th of October when I found his body, the rotten stench filled the entire room, glass shattered all over the ground, his blood stained the wooden floor but all I could focus on, was the dead body of my father laying carelessly on the floor. They couldn't find out what happened to my father, how he died. They say it was off natural causes but that doesn't explain the blood, the broken window, none of this made any sense...

I'm wearing a all black dress, my short dark hair in a low bun, I look in the mirror to see how happy I am, not a single tear rolled down my cheek. On the other hand, mother has been crying non-stop! I would say its rather annoying but her husband did just die. I sigh and pick up the rose from my dressing table, "Mother hurry up we're going to be late!" I say in a calm voice, trying to not let my temper get the best of me. As I walk down the stairs I see mother waiting for me, she's dressed in a long black puffy dress, a small black hat with fabric hanging down, almost covering her face and plain black heels. I know for a fact that today is going to be a bad day, not because its fathers funeral, but because I have to see...them.

I walked out of the house with my butler behind me, ever since father died I cant be alone, apparently I'm not safe. Well anyways I believe we haven't properly met yet, I'm Lucinda but people call me Lucy, well by people I mean my family, I was forbidden to leave the house, but now that fathers dead.. I guess I don't have to follow that stupid rule anymore.
The carriage has arrived, i sighed and rolled my eyes back, i honestly bloody cant be bothered. I don't get wakes, cant we just bury them and move on? But nope here when someone dies we have to sit in a church through a service and followed by a wake. Mother also made me greet everyone who came by to 'pay their condolence' and the worse part is i have to sit there in agony and listen to everyone telling me how much of good guy he is, little do they know..

On my journey to the church, my eyes were glued to the window, the weather is beautiful, the sun was out which was fairly odd because it was half way between October. It's fathers favourite time of year, Halloween. He love the spookiness, god knows why.
We got to the church and as soon as i stepped in, my eyes immediately darted to a group of men who i deeply despised. I was hoping some tragic event happened to stop their arrival, but unfortunately i guess sometimes your wishes don't come true. Don't get me wrong i am a nice person but to see them all together, living happily without me, its like i don't even exist. Father also chose them before me, because 'men are meant to be strong, women should cook and clean for the men blah blah' gosh, he always got on my nerves, like he was purposely testing my temper. I sighed and picked up my long dress so i could properly walk, i stopped walking and just stood there in the middle, mother carried on walking to the front, to where they are sitting, I rolled my eyes and just sat at the back, alone. This is so tiring, listening to people cry, watching them wipe their non-stopping tears that father didn't deserve, he didn't deserve this funeral at this massive church and yet, he got what he wanted, not this gigantic palace where the funeral is held, but the fact people made time to attend here, to hear the heart-breaking cry's of everyone in this building except his children. People must be thinking were monsters or heartless, but that shows they didn't know father very well. "Lucinda May Peterson!" I hear some deep voice shout, as i slowly came back to reality i see all eyes on me. I let out a big sigh as i realise its now my turn to go up and give one of those useless speeches, i got up and started slowly walking to the front stage. Mother told me to prepare for this, she even wrote me a speech but i just threw it in the trash. I originally planned to go up there and simply say ' i don't really care about fathers death, he was a bad man anyways' but i saw the worried look in mothers eyes. So i take a deep breath and stare at floor "my father was a... good man and he will be missed.." i say in a bored tone, i give a awkward smile and leave the stage. It's been a few hour and everybody is leaving, I'm glad that's over it felt like i was there for months. I sigh in relief when i see that my carriage has finally arrived, but as i start to walk i hear a familiar voice come from behind me.
"Lucinda..!"