It was a cold night on Starkiller Base. One might assume all nights are cold in space, because space is cold. But Starkiller Base had central heating installed so it wasn't usually cold. But it had broken today so it WAS actually cold now. Kylo Ren was walking down the hallowed halls of Starkiller Base, his heavy, lead-lined black knee high boots making his footsteps echo with a hollow, metallic "clang clang clang". It was late, so nobody else was there (because they were sleeping). Kylo was frustrated, his perfectly arched eyebrows knotting together, revealing his ire. With his steely face and soft, flowing hair, cape trailing behind him, he was reminiscent of a dark stallion: a sublime mix of grace and power. (AN: He'd totally be a Friesian >-<) Why, you may find yourself asking, was this perfect creature of the darkness feeling so tense tonight?
It was simple, really. Despite everything going well -- his epic arsenal of weapons killing Luke and ending the Jedi order forever -- he was feeling... an emptiness inside of him. And perhaps.... a wriggling, icy strand of doubt...?
No, of course not. He chased the pesky thoughts away. Everything happened as it had to.
Just as he thought that, a ringing interrupted his pacing. It was his telecommunicator. General Hux was calling him!! He picked it up with a sigh.
"Armitage", he started, looking down at Hux's gay little hologram, "I've told you not to pretend to be my ringtone before. That makes no sense. There are no ringtones in Starwars."
"Commander Ren", the general retorted sharply, "cease your infantile negging immediately. I've been practicing my phone impressions since my early boyhood, and it's high time my training paid off."
"Weirdo", Kylo replied with wit and cleverness.
"Yes, well", Hux continued without missing a beat, "as you have no doubt noticed, our central heating has broken down. I, as is par for the course, have notified the approppriate personnel and... punished... those responsible, in your stead."
"Yeah i noticed it's cold that's why i'm up. I'm going to get my blanky. You know mom made me a blanky when I was little? It's a shame she's such a BITCH!!!!!!! now!!!!!! Ugh!!!!! She didnt even say congrats for killing her brother."
"Uh-huh", Hux replied, his face staying stony because he had already gotten desensitized to Kylo's bullshit. "So, let me get this straight. Despite forcing me to tolerate your disgusting, perspiration-ridden body overheating my sleeping quarters on even the most cloyingly hot of days, now, when I could actually benefit from its warmth, you're choosing to replace me with... what, some pathetic memento of the childhood you barely had?"
"UGH Huck's I can't go over to cuddle i'm being angsty right now and you said that's off limits in your room."
"It wouldn't be if you hadn't destroyed my Gundam model collection." Hux says, panning the hologram over to a pile of molten plastic on the floor. There's a small gravestone on it, adorned with fresh flowers.
"In any case", he continues, "can't you just... stop being angsty? I grow cold, Kylo, and weary of your antics."
"I CAN'T """"STOP BEING ANGSTY""""""", ARMITAGE! THIS IS WHO I AM. AND IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THAT....... WELLL......... I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!!!!"
"Okay.", Hux says, and hangs up. Kylo slams his communicator closed anyway, and runs to his bedroom crying.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
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AN: OMG POOR KYLO ;___; Kylo: WTF YOU DID THIS TO ME!!! Me: Don't worry I have someone else coming for you ;))))))) Kylo: Hmph!!!!! *listens to MCR louder*
