Shy

Triggered

" I'M SICK OF YOUR DUMB ASS SHIT SHONDA!"
I heard a loud thump hit the ground .  I looked up from the suitcase I was packing .  I heard my mom running down the hallway . My heart was pounding , daddy got home early.

"Creed stop please !" She yelled
*Smack*! " STOP WHAT BITCH?! Huh? Stop what !!? "
I heard them in the hallway , he was beating my mama , but at the point what was new ? I ran into the hallway to see my daddy pinning her down on the floor hitting her and knocking her head against the wall.

"STOP CREED YOUR HURTING ME!"
"Daddy stop ! Daddy stop ! You're gonna kill her !"

He was too far gone he wasn't even hearing me .
He began to strangle her neck .
"IM HURTING YOU ?!  What about me huh ? I come home and You packing shit ! YOU TRYNA LEAVE ME HOE ?! I made you! I MADE US! AND YOU THINK YOU FINNA TAKE MY DAUGHTER HO!?"

I seen my mama gasping for air trying to push him off  of her . I ran up to them screaming , and hammering my daddy's back . 
"DADDY STOP PLEASE WE WONT LEAVE . STOP DADDY SHE CANT BREATHE 😭" but he didn't  break he was still choking her blue .There my mama was sitting there grasping for life, tears rolling down her face . I saw her look at me and mouth "I love you baby ..." with her last few seconds of strength.  My heart wanted to explode . I seen her body loose it's life , it's will to keep fighting faded . And yet he was still holding still choking , it was like he wasn't even there anymore.

" STOP IT ! DADDY LOOK AT ME!" I slapped the back of his head and he came back to realization. He looked at my mama and started slapping her .

"Wake up Shonda!" Aggressively yelled
I'm standing here flooding with tears .
"STOP PLAYIN !GET YO ASS UP FR BITCH!"

" WYM GET UP!? LOOK AT HER DADDY !"

He examined her and realized she was really laying there breathless , dead .

"No . No . No . No . No ... ahh shit . Shonda baby no Shonda I didn't mean it baby . NO IM SORRY BABY NO !" He began to panic and weep  .

"YOU SORRY ? YOU SORRY !!? You didn't hear me standing here screaming !!? Or beating your back !!? YOU DIDNT HEAR HER SCREAMING FOR HER LIFE!!? "

"Shyla baby im so sorry , daddy so sorry baby." He tried to come near me to hug . I jerked back , the spazz came before I even knew it.  I just sat there On the floor and held my mama's lifeless body ,crying .
My daddy started  scurrying around the house gathering items but I couldn't even grasp what was really happening at this moment . This is a dream , no a nightmare .  I was lost in despair when I heard the door shut , the house was still and quiet.

"DADDY!?"  No response
"DADDY !!? Where are you ?" Still no response
. I walked through the house he was gone , just ghost. He  had taken things from their bedroom. I seen a note on the bed "Shy baby I'm so sorry , daddy didn't mean it . I love you sweetgirl . Happy 13th birthday Shyla. Find me when you're ready..."  .

Find you when I'm ready ? What the fuck ! This man really killed my mama then abandoned me ? On my my birthday !!? What is happening!? 😭My body went numb , a whole new level of loss , pain , and confusion was on the rise .  I can't believe this .  I ran to my room and grabbed my cellphone and dialed 911.  They were at my house within 10 minutes .  When they arrived I was just sitting there with my mama . Her head In my lap , stroking her hair , wiping the dried tears from her face .

I can't believe it , I can't believe I lost my mama. I couldn't save her .