𝑺𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌

please read.

i'm updating sometime tonight so hold on.

idk if i want to continue this story. i'm having a bit of writers block, and i genuinely think i suck at these. i try to rush things along because i just wanna get to the point without letting things slow down a bit.

like the next chapter is the sixth one and stuff is already getting a move on. i understand there's some people, very few of them, who enjoy this. which makes me beyond happy. but me, myself, i think i need to think before i just start writing. like i think i need to plan each chapter in a brief summary before even starting the book.

i just rush things along so fast without having a solid rising action. i just get straight to the climax and i just think i'm not that good at these.

plus i have really terrible grades in school. and it's my first year in high school which is super stressful. my biology and art teachers are a pain in the a$$. i have all of my assignments don't but my grades on them are bad because i'm just so beyond stupid.

i'm also having some mental health issues and i finally reached out to my mother for the first time since it started happening 3 years ago. she told me its apart of puberty and my age, but we need to schedule a doctors appointment to see what's happening.

and i feel really alone all the time. none of my friends are that nice or care abt my good/bad news. they're all really snotty and mean and idk how to make new friends so it's really really hard to have a good connection with anyone. wattpad, music, the boys, and sleep is my only source of happiness where i can get away and forget about everyone and everything.

i rarely even get to do any of that because of all of my piling schoolwork.

i feel like every day is the same. wake up, go to school school, come home, do homework, sleep. and repeat, over and over and over.

i'm never happy.

there's moments where i'm with my mom and we're laughing, talking about old memories where i feel happy for a moment. then it's gone. it's temporary.

and i know i'm young, thinking about boyfriends and girlfriends and whatever else. but i just want to feel wanted. i want to feel cared for and loved in a way family can't give me. i have so many years ahead of me to think about love and a relationship, i know this.

but i just want to feel important and like i'm wanted. and i want to feel the same way towards them. it's really hard for me to truly be attracted to someone. and every time i am it's like they either want me for something sexual or they're just flat out not attracted to me.

there was a boy recently that i really liked but he made it clear that all he wanted was someone to use. someone to call up for a good time.

so i just kind of give up on the thought of ever being wanted or even cared about by someone who isn't my family. that doesn't mean i don't want it. cause i do. so so bad.

but i've kind of just said whatever, i know i'm gonna be alone for a while and i guess i'll deal with it.

so i'm sorry if i end up discontinuing this story. i just hate how i write and feel like it's not living up to expectations of many other AMAZING fics out there.

thank you for everyone who cared enough to read this❤️ love you all

-liv