Non-Fiction Stories Shared

Mixed Feelings

Trigger Warning!!!!! Contains talk about self harm, abandonment, and sad thoughts. I know a lot of things can trigger people so if you are not bothered or triggered by any of this than you may continue to read.

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A/N;
This story/poem is NOT made by me. It is a non-fiction story/poem. I have came across this on a YouTube comment. I have full permission from the owner of this story to post this. I want to share their story, I have been wanting to do this for awhile now, to share others stories so the world can see and hopefully see their not alone. I will put all the credits at the end. Till then just click the video above to listen to some music and the picture shows proof. I will put another authors note at the end till then please read this story.

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"Nobody can see you, because you never talk or let those feelings of yours, out."
My teacher said..
But that's just it.

I don't talk because nobody asks me too.
I don't say a peep because everybody ignores me.
Nobody realizes that I have feelings too.
I keep these feelings in, because if I let them out, the whole world could explode.
I keep them in because if I let them out they would laugh at me.
I don't show it because they keep staring at me.
I don't!
It's not that I don't want to talk.. it's just.. I'm to afraid to talk.

I want them to know my pain
I want them to see me
Inside and out
I want them to be known of my stress, anxiety, everything.
I want them to know I never had parents like them!
I want them to know that my pain is never-ending and that it just keeps going and going!
I want them to know that it hurts so F**KING bad that sometimes I need to see blood!
I want them to know this! That! Every little thing about me! The small things matter about me too! I want them to understand everything.. everything that I can't understand my self..

But..
I don't want them to know my pain
I don't want them to see me
Not inside or out
I don't want them to be known of my stress, anxiety, nothing!
I don't want them to know that I never had parents..!
I don't want them to know that my pain is a never-ending tunnel that just doesn't seem to stop!
I don't want them to know that it hurts so F**KING MUCH
I don't want them to know this or that! I don't want them to see me! I don't want them to laugh at me or give me those looks anymore

I wish for those parents of mine to come home.
I wish they didn't put me threw hell
I wish they didn't leave me.. abandon me
I wish for this and that
Because
They have been here, there, and everywhere!
Just not with me..
I love those unknown parents of mine.. but at the same time I can't help but hate them so goddamn much..

All because I have been here and there, but just not everywhere..

"Embrace failure, and make something beautiful out of it."

(Who knew a 12 year old could write that- but anyways please do not steal my little thing here, I worked so hard to think of how to put my pain into small words, and if you ever find this comment, thank you for taking the time to read it:>)

A/N; I have changed nothing at all of the comment. I of course did make it slanted though as well as put these ** so that cuss words aren't completely shown. Other than that I changed nothing whether it be Grammer or something else, I believe when sharing a story it should be shared the way the writer/teller said it. I did copy this word for word from the YouTube comment with full consent by the writer (though it took awhile since you can't copy and paste it so I wrote word for word here whew that took long.)

Writer's Formats you can check;

YouTube channel name is:
Reishi The Flower
The link to her channel is:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFiMYVNM8bX8-pzlYUkUIMg
Her instagram:
reishi_the_flower
Her Twitter:
ReishiThe
Wattpad:
@Reishi_TheFlower

Song; NF Let me go (Audio)
Video from (on YouTube); NFrealmusic