If Our Love Is Wrong

CHAPTER 5

'At the time of great loss, your world gave way to sights and sounds of horror. It was as if you were walking in the street and a Mac truck ran you down -emotionally. The loved one is gone, but you are still here. And you asked, "How can that be?" The lost will impact every part of your being. Not only you cannot think straight, but activities run on automation. To call it "walking in a daze," doesn't approach the dark clouds that amass inside your skull. There is a mental tornado in there, which no-one can see nor comprehend. One may "shut down" for weeks, even months. Then, one day, the lost gravitates into new reality. You are not the only one to suffer, and you realize that this is not the last time you will encounter great loss. At that point, all memories connected to the lost one will become bitter-sweet. You can remember all the good times, relive them, and still move on with your life. This horrible experience has not crushed you, but you are enriched by it'

Singto shook off the thought from his mind.The thought that Krist would leave him forever and never came back.The nausea swirled unrestrained in Singto empty stomach. His head swam with half-formed regrets. His heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. Singto's melancholy mood hung over him like a black cloud, raining his personal sorrow down on him. Even the colours of the spring day were drab to Singto now and the birdsong like so much noise on a child's glockenspiel, grating his nerves.His tiredness made him hung limp like wet laundry on a cold still day. He felt like every muscle was giving into gravity. What Singto wanted was a sleep, a nice warm bed and a solid night of dreams. But Krist's condition won't let him to do so.

Singto entered the room carefully.In front of him, a man was lying on the bed,looking at Singto with a fearful eyes.Singto has to admit this. He felt horrible to see his own lover was scared of him.Singto approached Krist.

'How do you feel today?' Singto asked.His eyes was fixated on the porridge on the table.'You haven't eat your porridge? Come,let me feed you.'Singto sat on the bed,ready to feed Krist when the younger man yanked Singto's hand away,causing the bowl of porridge fall to the floor.

'I'm not hungry.'

Singto sighed heavily.'Krist.' Singto caressed Krist 's hair but Krist still yanked Singto's hand.

'Don't touch me.Dont come near me! Just leave me alone.' Again,Krist broke into tears which made Singto's heart clenched in pain.

'No,no..shh..please don't cry. I am so sorry.Please forgive me.'

'You don't love me.'

'I love you.I love you so much,Krist.' Singto wiped off the tears that has stained Krist's cheeks.

'Prove it! Can you prove to me that you really love me? No right? If you love me,you wont treat me this way. Phi Singto,let's break up.'Krist said.

Singto shook his head.'Kit, I swear I will be good to you,I wont hurt you.I wont be jealous .I swear but please don't break up with me.'

'I am so tired phi.I don't believe you anymore.Let's just break-'

Singto pulled Krist into a hug.Tears of despondency slowly cascaded down his cheeks leaving Singto so weak and frail

'Im sorry.Dont leave me,Krist.' Singto said.

'Im sleepy. Can you leave now?'

Singto sighed.' OK,baby. Take a rest. I need to clean this first ok?' Singto replied,caressing Krist's chubby cheeks before squatting down to pick the spoon and bowl that fall to the floor.Krist just watched Singto cleaned the mess he did and paid no care about that.Krist slumped in his bed and eventually fall to the dreamland.

'Krist, do you want pink milk-' Singto's eyes fixed on Krist who has slept soundly.Singto broke into smile.

'I promise not to hurt you again,Krist.I love you.'

-TO BE CONTINUED-

How are you,sunshine? I hope everyone is doing well.Christmas is coming soon,till then take care 💕

-joong-