Somebody To Lean On

Chapter One: Old Habits

I stared into the eyes that once held love. "We're done." Elliot spat. "Elliot.." I stuttered out. "You're a cheating whore! How could you?! 3 years, Tori! 3 years!" He yelled. Only I didn't cheat. But there I sat, watching him walk into another girl's arms. Our relationship slipped past my eyes. My first love. My longest relationship. Elliot was my everything, and he was gone. My phone screen lit up. It made me think of the first 4th of July we were together and he kissed me under the fire works. More notifications came in. My Twitter inbox was flooding and I had no idea what was going on. My heart almost stopped when I read one of the tweets. It read 'What happened to #Torriot?' with a picture of Elliot walking out with that girl. My heart dropped and I let out a sob. I climbed up the stairs and opened my medicine cabinet. I grabbed a pill bottle that should have been empty, and heard the familiar but old sound of tinkling metal. I poured out the contents. There they were, crusted with blood. My razors.

•••

Light filtered through my eyelids and I heard a well known voice calling my name. I heard the beep of a phone, three times. I cracked open my eyes and saw Kian standing next to the tub and there was blood everywhere. Kian was on the phone, but that's was all I saw before I slipped out of consciousness again.

•••

Sirens blared and I felt a sharp pain on my wrist. A tight grip. Then all my weight was being held as if I was floating. I heard Velcro strapping and felt myself move forward. Dots danced on my eyes and then it all went black.

•••

Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep. I opened my eyes, straining to see through the blinding light above me. "Ms. Lawley," a deep male voice croaked. "Hello. I'm your doctor. Doctor Hayes. Do you remember what happened?". I racked my brain but all I could remember was black. I shook my head no. "Well I'll fill you in. Your brother Kian found you in your tub covered in blood with razors in your fingers and slits in your wrists. Do you know why you did this?" Dr. Hayes said. A name shot through my head and I began to cry. "Elliot.." I whispered. Tears fell down my cheeks in a rain that could have flooded the world.

6 weeks later...

I have been in therapy for over a month now. Even after I got out of the hospital, I was suicidal. Elliot was my everything, but today is the day to forget. My stitches, my only reminder of what I did and who caused to break my 3 year clean streak. I had been clean since I was with Elliot. Kian was next to me, gingerly grasping my hand. "It's over," Kian whispered. "It's finally over." I agreed.

Author's Note

Is this a good chapter length? I hope so but I'm not sure. This means no offense to anyone who has self harmed. I haven't so I don't really know what happens. Message me if you need to talk because I love all of you. Anything I should change? P. S. Follow my bae @heyy_its_meh_lauren 💖