Haikyuu One-Shots

Aoba Johsai

"If you were a pirate, would you spend or bury your treasure?"

The Seijou boys had just finished after school practice and were all in the club room changing. It was quiet with the occasional stupid jokes from Matsukawa and Hanamaki and banging of locker doors. That was until chaos ensued from a mindless random question from the one and only Kindaichi Yuutarou.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki both burst into laughter immediately after it was asked and were holding onto each other for support. Kunimi turned around to give his best friend a disgusted disapproving look, then slapped Kindaichi on the head with his volleyball jacket. Oikawa was trying to conceal his laughter behind his school shirt, but his body shaking gave it away to the team. The rest of the team were acting as if the first year had never asked such a stupid question.

After the two cackling third years had calmed down the pair both had expressionless faces as if nothing happened. They let go of each other and Matsukawa proceeded to get changed while Hanamaki went and sat next to Kindaichi on the bench in the middle of the room. He slapped his hand on the younger student's shoulder.

"I would so spend it all since there's no point having money if you can't spend it. I could buy myself the biggest in your face palace to just to piss off everyone."

Kindaichi laughed at his upperclassman, causing the rest of the team to join in. Matsukawa walked over to the duo sat on the bench and bowed before Hanamaki leaving both of them confused.

"My dear Captain Takahiro, would you grant this impoverished servant the honour of being your first mate?" He smiled at his best friend.

"Of course, now rise my fellow pirate and join me as we conquer the seven seas." Hanamaki stood on the bench both arms raised in the air and an evil smirk adorning his face. Then he jumped down off the bench, slammed his locker door shut and ran out the door with all his stuff. All the other members of the team stood confused at Hanamaki's antics, but the black-haired middle blocker slowly followed after his friend.

"Anyway, to answer my own question I would spend it on a huge ship with a skeleton or something on the front, then find more treasure and bury that to start my pirate legacy." Kindaichi said. He stood up from the bench and continues changing out of his sweaty volleyball uniform. Yahaba and Kunimi stood side by side across from the turnip head, arms crossed contemplating their own answers to his random question.

Kyoutani and Iwaizumi hadn't even acknowledged the question yet and were hoping to get away from the club room without providing an answer. It was honestly one of the most ridiculous things Iwaizumi had ever heard, which means it tops anything that had come out of the mouths of his fellow third years. He grabbed his bag and jacket, closed his locker, then walked over to Oikawa nudging him with his shoulder to hurry up.

Oikawa got the hint and quickly changed his shirt and threw his bag over his head to rest on his shoulder. The pair practically ran out of the club room attempting to catch up with the meme team, and overjoyed they got out of the whole pirate situation. Once the door closed boys that were left continued getting ready to leave in silence, until Watari decided to entertain Kindaichi's idiocy.

"I would spend my treasure on a cool pirate outfit then go to Tortuga to drink rum and party with the other pirates." He laughed putting his jacket on, his teammates smiling at his answer.

"Why is the rum always gone?!" Kindaichi shouted. The small room erupted into laughter at the middle blocker's shocking impersonation, even Kyoutani was laughing at his underclassman.

The five were all ready to leave finally, so all decided to walk home together. The group waited for Yahaba to lock the door, then proceeded to walk out the school gates towards their homes. Of course the conversation went straight to volleyball and planning for their next match against Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, even if they lost before having a chance to play either team.

"Okay enough about those losers, my answer for you Kindaichi is that I would keep some to spend to enjoy my life, and then bury the rest for someone else to find." Yahaba stated, walking backwards so he could face the black-haired boy. The brunette gestured to the rest of the group to share their pirate fantasies, since two of their quiet teammates had yet to provide their opinions.

"Well, for me it depends on whether I needed something for my ship or crew, but other than that I'd just bury it." Kunimi said and continued walking ahead of the group.

"That is so boring Kunimi, pick something more exciting." Kindaichi complained at his best friend, grabbing onto his shoulders, and lightly shoving him forward.

"No, leave me alone."

The second years carried on walking ignoring the first years bickering and continuing their previous conversations about volleyball strategies. Reaching the end of the street and splitting off onto their respected streets, the group said their goodbyes before turning and leaving to their homes.

Yahaba and Kyoutani conveniently lived near one another so would walk home together every day, which meant that Yahaba was stuck having one sided conversations with the blonde. However, the brunette had another plan for tonight to get his friend to talk to him. Yahaba stopped outside his house and grabbed Kyoutani's arm forcing him to turn around before he could leave him to go home.

"So Kyoutani, if you were a pirate would you spend or bury your treasure?" He smiled innocently at the other. Kyoutani looked extremely creeped out by his friends actions but answered him anyway.

"Spend it on a pirate outfit just to look cool in that era." He said.

Satisfied with his himself, Yahaba skipped up the stone steps to his house and waved Kyoutani goodbye. The blonde shrugged in response and continues his pursuit back to his house for the night.

~♤♡◇♧~

Meanwhile, at the Iwaizumi residence the group of third years were studying for their final exams in Iwaizumi's room. Hanamaki had given up about thirty minutes ago so was currently playing a game on his phone, his head resting on his left arm atop the small table. Matsukawa was sat next to Hanamaki reading a history textbook pretending to care about what happened 500 years prior. Across from the pair Oikawa was laid on the floor hugging a volleyball while mumbling about how English was stupid and too hard. So Iwaizumi being the responsible friend he is decided to lighten the mood.

"So if I were a pirate, I would spend it on a huge ship and a black pirate outfit, the use the chest to bury my heart Davy Jones style." He said still copying Matsukawa's English notes.

"That's dark dude" Hanamaki laughed. The pink-haired boy had finally put his phone down and lifted his head off the table. Iwaizumi looked at his friend and shrugged, it wasn't that dark to him. "Okay, it's your guys turn since you didn't answer in the club room." Hanamaki pointed accusingly at his two friends, who had yet to reveal their pirate fantasies.

"Fine I'll go first, I would bury it in different places then its safe for it I want to spend it in the future." Matsukawa stated tearing his eyes away from the history textbook. Then all attention was on Oikawa who was still on the floor hugging the volleyball. Their captain sat up dropping the ball letting it role away somewhere in the room. He toke a deep breath then looking towards his friends.

"Okay so, I would be a cute pirate outfit then a matching hat with a huge feather, then waste some of it on ships for an armada and alcohol, then bury the rest." Oikawa said. His friends just looked at him with disapproving looks.

Honestly, they wouldn't expect anything less from their fearless leader, they would've been concerned if he hadn't mentioned having an over extravagant matching outfit to go with his overbearing personality. The group burst into laughter then went back to studying forgetting about their ideal past lives as pirates and concentrating on things that will help them in this century.

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This is based on an actual conversation my mum had at work.