Between Larry

3

Perspective of the person on the other bench

Footsteps are approaching the bench were I'm currently curled up, but I don't raise my face to look at the person connected with the noice. My curiosity is not gonna win this time. It is simply not worth it this time. I am not in the mood to get recognised or be polite, even though I love it. Today is not the day. The darkness is darker today than most days. Surrounding me from every angle. I push my hood further down my face and press the buttons on the side of my phone increasing the volume of the music in my ears. Letting it take over my surroundings.

I don't want to think today. There is to much going in inside my head and I don't want it today. I wish there was a way to take a break from life, just for an hour or two. Alcohol and pot helped for a while but he won't let me use it anymore, saying I'm turning in to an "addict" and that it "scares him". It bloody annoys me but he is much more important to me then any drug. Without him I wouldn't even bother to breath. So I guess I'm staying sober.

My eyes are tearing up again and I can't help but to get mad at myself. I have everything I need to be happy; people around me who love me and who I love, an amazing career which has been my dream for as long as I can remember and my Hazza. And still I don't manage to be happy. I know that it makes no sense. It is my fault. I am fucked up and have been for as long as I can remember. Always acting so happy and loud and confident around other people, sometimes not even acting because sometimes I forget that I'm sad. But when no one sees I break down and I don't understand why. Because I am happy. Promise.

The smell of tobacco interrupts my thought and I immediately look up. No thought what so ever left about not wanting to get recognised. I left the hose without my wallet and my packet is already all smoked up and tossed to the side.

I easily locate the source of the tobacco smell. The lovely fag in question is connected to a woman who seems to be about my age or perhaps a few years younger. We lock eyes and I can almost hear the scream she keeps in when she recognises me. She pulls herself together in a matter of second, which I am grateful for, and simply asks:

"want a smoke?"

I have to say that I am digging this short chapter vibe I've got going. I'd rather write much more chapters and have them shorter, I find it more fun both to read and to write. I can also update more often if it's shorter. So that's the plan for now, might change along the way to.

Hope whoever reads this likes it so far, and if you do please leave a comment because I would like to hear different thoughts!!