Honey sucker

1.

     Ive never been able to put into words how i feel. There may be over 600,000,000 words to describe almost anything imaginable. Some how me and in myself cant even think of simply 20 to state my health. It's the moments in life that matter most that seem to be easy to explain but what if the most important things you want to forget? Like wanting to forget that first kiss or even first love. Though for i, i don't want to forget anything. I want to remember it all. Though i cant.  I really never given much of any thought of how things could change, even so more of how I would die. It's something i dont want to think of as if maybe then things would be just fine. We don't  know what death is like and that why we are all scared of it. We don't know when our last breathe will be or who its with. 

     It all started when i moved, its when i knew something bad would happen. Of course i was too young to know exactly caused the move. All we could do was blame ourselves. The self pity that will slowly drown up — slowing suffocating and then bam, everything rushed back to you and you're gone. It will drive you insane just thinking about it. The deepest parts of you slowly creeping out and killing who you used to be. We cant fight back it makes up weaker. Surly there is much more than what we know. We can only find out so much about something till we cant bear it anymore. It's Like survival of the fittest it seems to be.