Ice Cream on Lips (Anxieties Blissed) | RenMark/MarkRen

The Talk Between Time-Weary Friends

Mark woke up, cotton-mouthed and dazed, and decided that he didn't quite fancy the idea of avoiding the potential love of his life.

But his damned anxiety spiked after he consumed what was supposed to be a confidence-inducing breakfast, and now he was being forced out the front door with unspoken worries and fears smeared on his lips, right alongside the jam nobody had bothered to wipe off for him in their haste to evacuate him from the building.

With an indignant huff, Mark smoothed his sleep-crinkled clothes as best as he could with no mirror on hand and went on his way back to his apartment, counting his blessings that there were no classes that day for him

--

"Ah," was the first exclamation to fall from Mark's lips when he gazed down at a very much asleep Renjun spread across his living room couch. 

He hadn't actually expected the younger to stay the night, and he began to feel guilty for leaving his friend alone for the night.

With careful, calculated steps, Mark made his way over to the couch while avoiding the grand majority of the particularly worn spots of floorboarding. Mark gazed down at Renjun's sleeping expression, noting with a wince the puffy red that kissed the rim of his eyes. He gave a broad, sweeping glance around the living room's environment before making a quick dash over to his bedroom. He dug out a spare blanket from underneath his bed and snapped it open, and allowed the lingering dust to dissipate into the stifling air. He pattered back into the living room with the blanket tucked securely under his arm and grabbed a throw pillow that had fallen to the floor during Renjun's possible restless sleep. 

Gently, anxiously, Mark lifted Renjun's head from its uncomfortable position lolling against the couch's cushion and placed the pillow underneath to support the younger's weight instead. He spread the thin blanket across Renjun's body in much the same manner, tip-toeing around the sofa's sharp corners to not disturb his guest's sleep.

Mark gazed down at his work with fond eyes, only to startle at the revelation of Renjun's opened eyes, boring deep and wide into his.

An "oh" escaped Mark weakly. "You're awake."

"And you're back," Renjun deadpanned. 

He lifted his upper body off the couch's cushion with lethargic ease, stifling a yawn behind his palm once fully risen. 

"Wanna talk about it?" he questioned immediately, the syllables stretched and curled into the smothering tension as he stimulated his stiff joints. "Or are you gonna avoid the subject until I pin you down again?"

Mark smiled wryly at the exhaustion in Renjun's voice and waddled away timidly when the younger stood from the couch, sending Mark a reflective glare during the process. 

"I dunno," he offered after directing his gaze pointedly down to the polished hardwood floor. "I'm still kinda working it out in my head."

"Then walk me through your process."

Mark fought against the urge to laugh. 

"It's not that simple—"

"Really?" Renjun interrupted. 

Mark jolted as he watched Renjun's feet stride over to him, entering his field of vision, a hair's breadth away from his own. 

"I'm pretty sure that's exactly what you did last time, though."

Mark's adrenaline was quick to make its presence known: a gentle roaring in his bloodstream, a chilling flush biting goosebumps free from his flesh, and a palpitation stuttering his breath. 

"Th—this is more complicated..."

Renjun's hand—his comforting, grounding touch trailed Mark off from his sporadic thoughts, a sudden spark alighting the area of contact.

"Then help me understand," and his voice was bleeding into a plea, and how was Mark ever to deny him now?

"Sit—sitting down," Mark, ever the wordsmith, said.

Renjun was quick to guide Mark over to the jasmine-scented couch, traces of the younger infused into the decrepit furniture.

Settled down, legs melting against one another, breaths intermingling, Mark spoke:

"You know how I'm not all that entirely straight?" he started off, sending Renjun an awkward sort of glance, the younger returning the sentiment with a curt nod. "Well, I've always known, so it's not like I'm in some sort of severe, homophobic denial right now. I was pretty chill with it; the occasional 'ah, he's kinda hot' moment never phased me. But that was it. I never actually got myself involved with someone else—romantically or...otherwise..."

The room was sweltering, and Mark did his best to fight against the urge to dunk his head in a bucket of ice water to avoid the heat of Renjun's loaded gaze.

Mark continued on with a prim clearing of his throat, eyes opting to roam the rest of the stilted living room. 

"And you know how I have this issue of ignoring my problems until they become so bad that no amount of ice cream can fix them?"

"Very familiar with that, yes," Renjun quipped.

"Yes. Well, I think my issue is...you?"

Renjun blinked. Mark blinked back before sighing and continuing on. 

"The twenty brands of ice cream in my freezer aren't just there for the simple discovery of a newfound favorite flavor. They're also there in preparation to deal with my anxiety whenever you're around."

"I give you anxiety?" Renjun's voice was equal parts perplexed as concerned, borderline horrified.

"No," Mark was quick to deny. "Just—let me"—he gave an impatient wave of his hand around the general area of his overheating head—"walk you through my process."

Renjun fell silent at that, terse shoulders slacking just a hint. Mark sighed and started over. 

"You give me what people these days call a 'gay panic,' but it's a little more complicated than that because it's not just a physical thing. It evolved over time as I got to spend more time with you and as I watched you grow up just a smidge. And, like I said before, I've never really been this involved with my person of interest, so I—"

He cut himself off as the blood in his head stilled, a sudden moment of clarity at the breach of truth that was soon to come.

"I think I kinda fell in love with you."

The air conditioning stilled with Renjun's breath, and Mark couldn't stop the blazing heat from coiling around his stomach even if he wanted to.

"I think that was kind of obvious, hyung," made its exit in a smooth jester, and suddenly Mark was doused in the moment of cruel reality. "Don't look so shocked," Renjun said with stars winking in his eyes. "It'll make me feel bad."

"Bad how?" Mark asked because that was all his melting, churning brain could keep in touch with at the moment.

Renjun leaned impossibly closer, forehead melding against Mark's like it was the most natural thing in the world, and his hands followed suit, tenderly cupping both of Mark's cherry-red cheeks. 

"For taking advantage of your feelings," he whispered, a forbidden secret passed between the intermingling breaths of two separate beings, before bridging the gap between their worlds and pressing his lips evenly against Mark's.

A/N - i'll do a double-update since i forgot to update last week 💀