Anorexia {stenbrough}

O N E

Includes in this chapter:

⚠️sad talk⚠️
⚠️anorexia⚠️
⚠️panic attacks⚠️
⚠️cutting⚠️
⚠️suicidal thoughts and attempt ⚠️
Bills POV

I woke up on my bed, blood pools on the floor from last night. I got up sore and put on a Hoodie and sweats I looked and my parents were at work. I sighed in relief.

I grabbed my bike and peddle off to school almost crashing because of how sore I was. "Hey!" I heard someone say. I looked and it was Eddie "h-hey.." I said quickly and quietly but loud enough for Eddie to hear.

We went to school and my first class was math.. "ugh" I said looking at my class. "Hey bill!" Stan said running after me "oh h-hey." I said still walking off "I got you a snack!" Stan said and after he said that the rest of the losers showed up "Im not hungry" I said looking down at the granola wanting to eat it but feeling the guilt ,"when is the last time you ate?" Richie said "t-this morning" I said speed walking now, the rest Catches up "don't lie bill" Eddie said. I didn't want them to worry so I took the granola and ripped it open and ate it all, just eating it I could feel it going to my legs, to my body, "see there happy.. I'm going t-to the bathroom" I said running off and saw them looking at me than talking waiting for me.

"ugh.. can't believe ate that. Now it's going to make me gain some." I said going into a stall and putting two fingers up my throat, I couldn't get it to come out so I just stopped.

I went out the stall after I flushed and washed my hands and walked out and they smiled at me and I gave them a broken and fake smile.

I went to class and me and Stan had most of our class together, only one class had all the losers.

After all my classes it was lunch, my worst part of the day. Yes it's seems that everyone's worst day is the classes and the best part is that lunch, well not for me.

"Hey big bill!" Richie said gesturing for me to sit with the rest of the losers. I hated that name. It made me feel fat, ugly, and big, I sat down and saw the food I looked at it wanting to eat it but I didn't want it to show. They all stopped talking and looked at me as I sat there looking at my food in guilt, "are you going to eat?" Stan says "yeah because you didn't even touch your food" Richie said in a concerned tone, probably because I'm fat and ugly, "y-yeah" I said taking the littlest bite ever knowing I'll regret it, "is that all your going to eat?" Ben and Eddie said worried "yeah..! I had a big breakfast today..!" I said hoping they wouldn't worry about me, "that's not going to fill you up.." Beverly said "I-I'm fine, ok?" I said in more of a irritated tone now, they all looked more worried than ever and I got scared that they would hit me and call me names. I saw stanly coming towards me and I got scared that he was going to hit me and I back away and flinched holding up my hands against my body shaking and afraid. "I-I'm going to go.." I said while Stan looked shocked and concerned "bill?" Ben said and they all got up and was coming towards me, that's when my anxiety kicked in I started to just sit there and my breathing got louder and I started twitching more and when Eddie was going to touch me I fell to the floor.

I curled up and started saying "please don't hurt me I didn't mean to!" I kept saying that over and over "bill?!" Richie said "please I didn't mean to!" I said "you didn't do anything bill!" Mike said as they all came closer I backed up against a wall I almost passed out and Im having an panic attack, "bill! It's okay!" Stan said "no no no!! Please!" I said crying how "PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" I said crying louder "BILL!" Ben said "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT" I said scratching at myself making myself bleed "oh my god..!" Beverly said "I know I'm fat,ugly,useless,I need to stop eating IM SORRY!!" I said once more going deeper and deeper "I know I'll keep cutting! I'm sorry please no no!!" I said once more "BILL STOP!!" Beverly said "BILL PLEASE!!" Ben said "I'm worthless..." bill said before getting up and running off "GUYS!" Richie said.

I ran away falling to my knees and pulling out hair and hitting my self in the head "Bill!" I heard a faint voice call out my name, I see Stan and the loser club looking at me with a terrified expression. I see the way they look at me with their faces. I didn't want them to worry but look where I am. My anxiety and panic attack got worse and I fell to my back and started crying still punching myself and pulling out my hair "I can't, I just can't anymore-" I managed to say before passing out. I heard faint voices calling out to me but I couldn't respond I just laid there numb and fading in and out, I finally managed to say, "I can't." Then passing out.

It was cold when I woke up on a cold black void. My head was pounding and hair still falling out from stress and my panic attack, "I probably have a concussion.." bill tried to think but many other thoughts have smooshed their way in my thoughts.

No sound just the yelling of my thoughts, until,
"Billy.." a faint voice said "huh? Who's there?!" I said screaming "it's us billy.." the faint voice said again popping right in front of bill "guys!" Bill said running towards them "we don't want to hang out with you anymore!" Stan said "Yeah! Your just so fat!" Eddie said. All the thoughts that bill didn't want to come true has already begun "w-what.." bill said "you're annoying!" Richie said in a whisper but loud one "no one will ever like you!" Mike said "please stop!" Bill began "NO! You are the worst friend ever!" Ben said "GO KILL YOURSELF!" Beverly said "I can't! Then my friends would be sad!" Bill said "You already made them sad! You lied! " the "loser club" said. Then I woke up.

I don't know if it was the panic attack or the pulling out the hair, or the hitting the head, I woke up and my head pounding like the worst headache I heard voices yelling out each other and me, "guys we have to take him to a hospital!" I heard a mumbled voice say, "ok let's call!" Another voice said.

I kept fading in and out, the next thing I knew I was in a ambulance with a bunch of hands on me. I felt a weird pain I've never felt before and just like that I passed out into a deep, deep sleep.

Hey guys!!! This is a new book if you couldn't tell!! I'm sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable! So hope you kinda enjoyed!! 😘 ✌🏽 bye!!