Brayden

?

I think the first time I killed something I was 8. My father had taken me hunting, yeah yeah yeah 'at 8 you shouldn't be hunting' my mother said about the same thing. My father didn't think much of it, he let me hold the gun. I had killed a deer, it was a pretty big one too, I shot it 5 times. The first shot that I sent toward it was thrilling, it filled my lungs with pleasure and seeing the blood fly pleasured my eyes and mind deeply.
I got to skin it and cut it up, rip it's skin off with my bare hands and pull the meat apart. I covered myself in blood, I made sure to only wipe it on the clothes I was wearing, and for a while, I kept those clothes. Like a trophy of my first kill.

After that my dad bought me a bebe gun. Told me "Son, you can kill anything you want with this just be careful not to shoot people." For awhile I agreed with him, and tried to not think murderously. But once I sat there on the ground, going to shoot a squirrel. I ended up shooting my dad, only in his leg though, and it didn't seem to satisfy me as much. As a matter of fact, I didn't feel bad, at all. I laughed as he screamed in pain, my mother quoted it as 'one of the most scariest laughs she's ever heard from me' Boo hoo, wah wah.
My dad ended up taking away the gun, and my mom didn't let me near knifes or anything that can danger people. One night I heard them talking....
"Why aren't you letting him use knifes? Or forks, not even spoons?"
"He shot you Akeem! and laughed! He laughed about shooting his father!"
"Charlotte! Come on! It was an accident, you know that darling. He wouldn't purposely hurt his own father"
I still laugh about seeing as of where they are today. It's funny. I find it funny. How terrified my mother was of me, oh just so how much she hated. He hatred for me just grew me to want to hurt her more. I'm not sure what she expected from it, maybe a nice, perfect child?
I can't help but laugh. What the fuck even is a perfect child? Can anyone tell me?
No? Let me guess then. Straight A's, virgin, only had one relationship and will marry that person, waiting till marriage, never fight with their parents.
As if I could ever be that.

Knowing that I terrified both my parents at the age of 10, didn't help. I don't think it did.

Sometimes when I think about them, they weren't horrible. I'm sure it was just me but I don't really care either way. I want people to stay out of my way, let me do as I please and stop worrying about me. If I fucking kill someone, so be it.

It shouldn't matter if I do or not.