The walls were dark, my heart was racing, not considering the duct tape on my mouth, I poured my heart to the Lord. Not in the sequence of hands in the air, my hands were tied up by chains and my lip was bleeding continuously. I remained still. The voice repeated in my head day and night,
"Hah! This is your God? He's not saving you now, is he. Deny him or die."
Over and over and over. It echoed day and night. I held strong in my faith but I was still tempted. The enemy overcoming my own thoughts. Now, he had full authority. "You can deny him. Just repent later." or even, "He'll forgive you, do you want to die or live?" I know he would forgive me, but I- I couldn't. I couldn't simply say I didn't know Jesus and that he was nothing to me that quick.
Knowing the same person who saved me from eternal gehenna and absolutely saying he doesn't exist? Its not that easy and I'm glad it's not that easy. I don't feel valued in this world anymore, my true desires are only fulfilled through Christ alone. Blessed are those who are persecuted, he said. I knew my father, and I knew him very well.
Abba Father, I pray that you may save me through my trials. And if you don't, I know it's in your hands. Lead me to the path of your will alone. Not mine. In Jesus name, I pray, --- amen.
My prayers were the only thing I turned to in days of persecution. But today was different. I wasn't aware that this would happen. It surely challenged my faith, but It won't destroy it.
It was my decision to choose to follow this world and lose my relationship with the savior of all, or accept him and follow him in heaven. Eternal Paradise.
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