UnAshamed

o n e

3rd day. I didn't have a calendar with me, I've just been engraving the days in my mind for now. I'm still here, present in the unknown. In a basement and it's been 2 days without food or water. I needed to fight this. But I, alone couldn't win, I gave all the matters to God. I've been stressing about a battle that's already won.

More flashes appeared, more headaches, more stomach growling. If Jesus could do it for 40 days, so can I. Not to put my standards to his but I know that if I bring the situation of what I think I'm capable of, I wouldn't last long. A tear rolled down my dry skin. I wish I could've even wiped the tears, but I couldn't do that either.

I heard footsteps. There were steps behind me, I heard someone come down them. They cleared their throat.

"Aw poor baby girl, still helpless huh? Your "God" couldn't possibly bring you out of this situation, could he now-?"

He laughed. He really emphasized the last sentence until he got interrupted by one of the other "kidnapping persecutors."

"Haha, cmon Mike. Be serious, lighten up. Her "God" is invisible. Scratch that, nonexistent."

I wish I could speak, but if I spoke a word I would sound even more pathetic. My mumbling would make matters worse and they would probably use it against me. Mike and Phil laughed off. Sitting there I felt weak. Unable. I DID feel helpless. I DID feel poor, especially poor in spirit. Can I believe when I can't see? Your mercy's just begun. And at this point, I couldn't imagine God taking me out of this situation either. But if anything, I knew he was real and very much so, existent.

The creation of earth needed a higher creator. Like the buildings, or this basement. They didn't build themselves, therefore, they needed a creator. Same applies to the Earth and to us. We didn't create ourselves, and the earth did not create thyself. I was new to theology, but I always had a passionate desire for it. If I did get out of here, I would major in biblical studies and theology. It's always been a dream of mine. I'm only 16, but I'm almost off to college. Verses started to pop in and out of my head.

"Blessed are you when people hate you and
when they exclude you and revile you and
spurn your name as evil, on account of the
Son of Man!
Luke 6 : 22

"If the world hates you, know that it has
hated me before it hated you.
John 15 : 18

When it feels like i'll never make it, gotta press on to the prize worth fighting for.

John 15:18 hit me deeply this time. If Christ was so perfect and still received a sense of loathe, who am I to expect any more than that?  I remember reading this scripture, oh how so awful that when Christ wanted hope and unlimited love for them, they strived and seeked opposite ways. No matter how amazing his message was, there will always be  people who aggressively reject him, and want others to do the same. Oh Father, the hatred they had and still have for you. I'm blessed to be persecuted. I'll win this race with your unfailing grace.