𝓐𝓷𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓞𝓷𝓮-𝓢𝓱𝓸𝓽 𝓡𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓴

➳⋆𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟 ~ mafuyu x uenoyama⋆➳

The Warnings: Angst, discussion of suicide, past trauma, language and major gay panic moments :).

Request by: suav1mvkg, I really hope you like this story!

Timeline: I tried to make this story comprehensible to people who've only seen the anime so this one-shot starts a week or so after Uenoyama and Mafuyu begin dating.

❀❀❀

   "Wanna go to my place after school today?" Uenoyama asks, zipping up his guitar case as he hears the lunch bell ring. His face was passive, but Mafuyu didn't fail to notice how Uenoyama was fiddling with the straps of his guitar as he swung it over his shoulder. He had a feeling asking things like this still made Uenoyama feel uneasy; it was oddly endearing.

    Mafuyu nods. Their afternoons were usually taken up by band practice, but Akihiko had canceled today, and Haruki said he couldn't make it either. Mafuyu couldn't help but be curious about the fact that they both dropped out but didn't say anything. It hurt thinking about other people's relationships even if he was in a happy one now. 

"Yeah, I'd like that."

___

    Uenoyama fought the urge to ask Mafuyu if he was okay, mostly because he wouldn't know what to say afterward. If Mafuyu said 'yeah,' which would obviously be a lie, should Uenoyama try saying that Mafuyu could ask him anything? If Mafuyu does say what's going on and it's about Yuki, what would Uenoyama say then? And how would he justify the jealousy that would emerge? How could he explain being resentful towards someone who wasn't even alive? What kind of sick person do you have to be for that? 

   Uenoyama runs a shaky hand through his hair. He needed to shower, not because it had been a while ( although it most likely had ), but because he wanted this awful feeling to go away. Then again, he also just wanted to stop in the middle of the sidewalk and kiss his boyfriend, but he couldn't do that either. He had resolved he thought about Mafuyu's stupid face way too often. If he knew liking someone would take up so much of his time, maybe he would've fought it mo- Who was he trying to fool? He had fought it. Mafuyu was just a tricky little bugger. 

   "Can we stop by my apartment? I had to leave in a rush this morning, and I didn't have time to let Kedama out." Mafuyu's voice halts Uenoyama's train of thought, and Uenoyama takes a few moments to gather what he was asking.

   Uenoyama clears his throat, hoping he didn't look as awkward as he felt. "Yeah, that works for me." 

   They fell into silence once more, and Uenoyama doesn't make any plans to say anything more. Some days they spoke for what felt like hours on end, and others, they hardly chatted at all. Uenoyama didn't mind. The fact that they were together at all was still a point of celebration for him.

   Uenoyama is about to relax when he feels something soft grab at him, suddenly panicking until he realizes it's Mafuyu's hand in his. Slowly, he settles into the feeling of their fingers intertwined, his thumb absentmindedly running over Mafuyu's knuckle. Several seconds into the gesture, Uenoyama realizes he hadn't been breathing and struggles to take in air without looking like he's gasping for oxygen.  

   Uenoyama glances at Mafuyu in the most casual way possible, admiring the softness of his features. He hadn't touched Mafuyu's hair since the night of the concert when they'd both been hot and sweaty. When Uenoyama's only thought had been of how badly he wanted to feel Mafuyu's lips against his and that he never wanted to see Mafuyu that sad again. Now, he struggled to remember what each strand felt like; he remembered it being oddly soft. Far softer than his own. But beyond that, Uenoyama couldn't recall.