Nico di Angelo, The Psycho Teacher (Percy Jackson Fanfiction)

The Actual Fanfic

Once upon a time, not too far into the future, in a strange land called New York, there was a teacher. A very strange and mysterious teacher called 'Mr. Di Angelo.' Some say he was a complete psychopath, but could it be he was simply misunderstood? The following statements were hard-earned, endangering the lives of many.

"I mean, what was the principle thinking hiring a goth teacher? Mr. Di Angelo is goth on a whole 'nother level. He looks like a freakin' ghost. No normal person could be that pale. It doesn't help that he wears black, like, all the time. He even wears black socks. Look, there is a thin line between wearing black clothes and wearing black everything. Actually, I kinda think his skin is the brightest thing about him. His hair is this pitch-black and don't even get me started on his eyes."

        -Marilyn Hailey

"Those eyes are like bottomless pits of darkness, I swear. No light can escape it! He kinda just stares at you like he's planning on where to send you in the afterlife. I call it: his Death Glare. Forgetting your homework is a freakin' nightmare. Believe me, I've done it often enough to know. One time, he cornered me after class, literally appeared out of nothing, and gave me this really intense Death Glare. Then he told me to never forget my homework again. He had this really threatening voice, you know? Now, I never forget my Ancient History homework again, even if I have to stay up until four in the morning."

        -Kimball Warner

"Mr. Di Angelo's homework can be pretty brutal. His homework always takes longer than any other teacher's. He assigns, like what, an essay per night? Plus, his projects. The only time he doesn't give us homework is the day before a test or a quiz. And studying for those things are on a whole other level. He really goes the whole nine yards. There's actually this urban legend that someone once aced one of his tests. It's never been proven though."

        -Ellie Pearce

"Mr. Di Angelo caught me cheating on a test once. Let me tell you, I will never be cheating ever again. No, I will not tell you what he did to me. Complete and utter psychopath, he is."

        -Delbert Garnet

"So the other day, I was walking my dog Sissy, right? It was just around Central Park like I always do. Perfectly normal Saturday. Then I was walking past this one rocky outcropping pretty deep into the park, and I swear on all that is precious, I saw Mr. Di Angelo walk straight out of the rock. That wasn't even the craziest part! He was had this REALLY big black mastiff with a spiked collar. And using just a rope as a leash. I think he called her 'Ms. O'Leary.' This thing had to be bigger than my living room! Then get this, I blinked and they were gone. I totally saw them though. Do psycho teachers usually walk their school-bus big dogs through rocks?"

        -Julia Tipton

"You know, I expected high school teachers to be weird in some way, but seriously? Mr. Di Angelo is off the charts weirdo. I have evidence that he likes to hang around graveyards at night. Heard it from my sister's friend of a friend of a friend's brother's girlfriend's cousin. I'm pretty sure Mr. Di Angelo is a vampire. No, not like Twilight. Real vampires do NOT sparkle."

        -Luke Pryor

"All I wonder about is why is Mr. Di Angelo absent so much? Don't get me wrong, I like our regular sub. Mr. Jackson's so hot. But Mr. Di Angelo sometimes doesn't show for days on end, and I think it's pretty weird. And when ever he comes back from wherever he was, he's always way pale. One thing's for sure, Mr. Di Angelo isn't taking random trips to Key West."

        -Sullivan Wilkins

"I usually hate history class, but this year's Ancient History is turning out to be downright entertaining. Mr. Di Angelo's got a brilliant stash of ancient greek weapons and spell-books. Those things are legit. And he is fluent in at least four languages: Greek, Latin, English [duh], and Italian. How cool is that? He is also an expert in all things Greek and Roman Mythology. Though his obsession with ancient civilizations' death rites are, I admit, a little weird . . ."

        -Sandy Bradford

"Mr. Di Angelo takes Greek and Roman mythology way too seriously. All I did was say Hades sounded like a bratty teenager! Now I've got detention, even on the weekends, for two months. Two months. Once, Luke said something totally inappropriate about some old Greek dude. I don't know exactly what he did to him, but Luke was extremely jumpy for the rest of the year. Especially with Mr. Di Angelo around. Man, I'd rather just not talk in his class then risk that happening to me. I guess now I realize I got off pretty light. Poor Luke."

        -Zoe Barton

"Nuh uh. I'm not dishing any dirt on Mr. Di Angelo. What if Dad finds out? What if he tells him? They're cousins, you know. If I say anything and it gets back to him, Uncle Nico will unleash hellhounds on me. HELLHOUNDS."

        -Theseus Jackson

"Don't mind my brother. He just doesn't like Mr. Di Angelo because he gives him detentions so often, but that's just because Thesie always messes around in class. Actually, Mr. Di Angelo is really cool. He's just misunderstood. He has this pretty sweet sword. The whole thing's black, even the blade, and it's really, really sharp. Mr. Di Angelo even let me touch it! Dad would freak if he found out though. He's so overprotective."

        -Sally Jackson

"[We are sorry for the inconvenience, but this particular interview was omitted in the interest of keeping this story PG at least.]"

        -indisclosed  

"Well, uh, ok so last week, I caught Mr. Di Angelo kissing Nurse Solace out back. Scratch that, they were legit making out. When he saw me, he totally flipped. Next thing I know, there's this big black sharp sword all up in my face. It appeared out of literally thin air. Where'd he get a sword anyway? He may be our Ancient History teacher, but that thing cannot be legal. It was a good thing Nurse Solace was there, or else I'd have been skewered. Mr. Di Angelo didn't let me go until after I promised not to mention this to anyone though, so please don't tell anyone I told you!"

        -Cam Everett

"What I think of Mr. Di Angelo? He's a pretty cool guy. I've known him since we were kids; we went to the same summer camp. He always had self-esteem issues, and he always got hurt too much for his own good . . . What? Why did I--WHO TOLD YOU THAT?! I was not kissing him! He was kissing me! Wait, no. That didn't come out right. DON'T RECORD THIS!"

        -Nurse Solace

"Oh yeah, Mr. Di Angelo's totally gay. He's got to be. Gay as rainbows. There's a pretty solid rumor going around that he and Nurse Solace are like a 'thing' now. Apparently, they have been since they were teenagers or something. I dunno. Cam said that Mr. Di Angelo and Nurse Solace were actually making out in the back stairwell or something. Keeps saying that Mr. Di Angelo had a black sword with him. Not sure I believe him."

        -Alex Warwick

"M-Mr. Di Angelo is p-pretty OK, I guess. He sometimes gives me c-candy when I'm having a 'specially hard d-day. C-Can I go home now?"

        -Isidora Hobson

"What do you mean, 'Why did you hire Mr. Di Angelo?' Who are you people? Why are you harassing my students? How did you get in here? Get out before I call the police! Out!"

        -Principal Carpenter