Narrator: Once upon a time there was a lovely princess, but she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken love's first kiss, she was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible, fire-breathing duman girl, many brave knights have attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed, she waited in the Duman Girl's Keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss--
*Hiro Rips Off a Page*
Hiro: *Laughs* Yeah-- Like that's ever gonna happen!
*Cut to: Outside of Hiro's Swamp.*
Hiro (): What a load of ----.
*Hiro flushes his toilet. Hiro opens his outhouse door*
Somebody Once Told Me That I World's Gonna Roll Me, I Ain't The Sharpest Tool In The Shed.
*Hiro Look And Admire His Swamp*
She Was Looking Kind Of Dumb When She Put Her Finger And Her Thumb In The Shape Of An "L" On Her Forehead.
*Hiro Then Left His Outhouse With a Smirk On His Face*
HIRO HAMADA
STORY BY: PARODYGIRL5
Well, The Years Start Coming And They Don't Stop Coming, Fed To The Rules And I Hit The Ground Running, Didn't Make Sense Not To Live For Fun, Your Brain Gets Smart But Your Head Gets Dumb
*Hiro Gets a Bucket And Collected Mud For His Mud Bath*
*Then He Put The Bucket of Mud In The Tub Until It Was Full, Then He Placed The Bucket Down*
*Then Hiro Took Off His Clothes Then He Went Inside The Empty Bathtub Full of Mud*
Hiro: Ooh! It's Too Cold!
So Much To Do So Much To See So What's Wrong Taking The Backstreets?
*Hiro Put Mud In His Mouth Then He Spit It Back Out, The Word Says "Hiro Hamada"*
You'll Never Know If You Don't Go, You'll Never Shine If You Don't Glow
*Hiro Then Brushes His Teeth, He Then Smiles At The Mirror, His Gap Tooth Can Be Seen, The Mirror Breaks Due To Hiro's Gap Teeth*
*The Word Says "Honey Lemon & Fred"*
*Hiro Then Took a Swamp Bath, To His Embarrassment, He Farted Causing The Fishes To Die, He Sank Down Embarrassed, He Then Took a Dead Fish*
*The Word Says "Aria Bakersfield"*
*Hiro (Fully Dressed) Was Pushing The Weird Mud Thing*
*Hiro Picked Up a Snail*
*The Worms Made a Word "Noodle Burger Boy"*
*Hiro Was Painting Something, When He Was Done, He Smiled Pick It Up And Kissed It*
*He Placed It Down Showing That It Is a Beware Sigh With His Face On It.*
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*Meanwhile There Were Angry Mobs Coming To Kill Hiro For a Reward, They Made a Plan And They Got Their Pitchforks and Their Torches Ready And Now They Were Off*
*Meanwhile Hiro Was Eating His Dinner, Which Was Eyeballs*
*The Mens Arrive And Knocked Down Hiro's Get Out Sighs, Which He Heard And Look At His Window And Saw The Angry Mobs*
Hiro: *Sighs* Why'd I bother? *Went To Get His Protector*
*The Angry Mobs Were Walking Towards Hiro's Swamp.*
Only Shooting Stars Brings Out The Mold.....
*The Angry Mobs Made It To Hiro's Swamp, Unaware To Them Though That Hiro Was Right Behind Them*
*Angry Mob #1 Removed The Leave So That They Can See Hiro's Swamp*
Angry Mob #1: i think he's in there....
Angry Mob #2: Alright..... LET'S GET HIM!
*Angry Mob #1 Stops Him*
Angry Mob #1: Whoa, Hold On *Whispers* do you know what these powerless kids can do to you?
Angry Mob #3: Yeah, they'll get their protector and the protector will grind its bones for its brains.
*Hiro Laughs*
Hiro: Well, actually that would be a giant.
Angry Mobs: *Gasps due to Hiro's gap teeth*
Hiro: Now non-dumans with their protectors... Oh, they're much worse. Their protectors will make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
Angry Mob #4: No!
Hiro: They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
*Angry Mob #2 leaps forward bravely waving the torch in front of Hiro*
Angry Mob #2: Back! Back weakling beast! Back! I warn ya!
*Hiro leans away, avoiding the torch and watching the second angry mob with casual indifference.*
*When the second angry mob is done with waving, he holds the torch threateningly in front of him.*
*Hiro moistens his thumb and forefinger and reaching forward, snuffs out the torch.*
*The Angry Mobs stand stunned for a moment.*
Angry Mob #2: Right.
*Hiro's Protector Came And Roars 3 Times, The Angry Mobs Scream Three Times*
*Silence*
Hiro: this is the part where you run away.
*The Angry Mobs all run as fast as they can.*
*We cut in close on Hiro and his protector as they watches them go. Hiro chuckles to himself.*
Hiro's Protector: And stay out!
*Hiro's Protector left Hiro*
*Hiro suddenly notices a small flyer that the angry mobs have left behind. He pick it up and reads it.*
Hiro: Wanted - non-dumans teen & young adult humans. *Sighs*
*Hiro Toss Away The Wanted Paper*
Part 1 Ended.
Cast (So Far):
Hiro Hamada (Disney's Big Hero 6, Disney's Big Hero 6: The Series) as Shrek
