1D Preference

Two People One Decision

Harry: He looks up at you from his seat at the kitchen table, brows furrowed and mouth hanging slightly open. Your words have caught him completely off guard, that you, of all people, want a divorce. You want to pack your things and uproot yourself from his life, start over somewhere else on your own. Make memories without him. He knows that things haven't exactly been easy for the two of you lately: arguments sparking left and right about everything under the sun, rehearsals for the new tour keeping him away most nights and the feeling hanging over the both of you that you've just simply grown apart. But it never once occurred to him that it was bad enough for you to want out. An awful silence hangs in the air as he wracks his brain for something to say, anything at all. He wonders if there's even anything he can say at this point, or if you've already made your decision. "I know it's been hard," He says, doing his best to keep a calm and even tone. He can't lose his temper now, not when he's so close to losing you, "But you can't, you can't just leave me, not now. You said for better or for worse, (Y/N), that's what you said. Well this is our 'worse'," You look away, biting your lip to keep yourself together. You knew that this was going to be hard on him, but you're just simply not happy anymore. You feel trapped, and he doesn't seem to grasp that concept. "Harry-" He stands up abruptly and holds up a hand to silence you. "No," He says, shaking his head and slowly lowering his hand, "No, (Y/N), I'm not letting you do this, not without a fight. I'm not letting you go." With a heavy sigh, you feel your heart crumble inside of your chest. You do love Harry, and there's no doubt in your mind that he loves you just as much, but sometimes that's not enough. 
Liam: "Is it because of me?" He asks, his normally chipper tone dejected and full of sorrow. You're leaving him, leaving your home and he can't figure out for the life of him why you'd ever want to. The two of you are in the bedroom that you've shared for the past six years of your life together, four of which spent married. You're seated on the bed, your hands folded in your lap and a half packed suitcase beside you while Liam gazes out the window at the night sky, collecting his thoughts. "No, it's not because of you, it's me," You whisper, the guilt washing over you like a tidal wave. Your leaving really has nothing to do with him, it's all you. You feel as if your life is not being lived the way it should be, having jumped into a marriage fresh out of college. You never had a chance to be your own person, you've always been with Liam. You're not even sure you know how to be without him, but that's something you have to find out for yourself. He leans his head against the glass and squeezes his brown eyes shut, the pain evident on his face. "Oh, don't give me that bullshit, (Y/N), 'it's not you, it's me'," He whirls around and towers over you, his teeth clenched and the veins on his neck protruding fiercely. You don't think you've ever seen him this angry, "You don't just throw away years of marriage on a whim, now tell me what the Hell this is all about." You flinch at the sudden raising of his voice, wishing that you didn't have to end on a bad note with him. "You just don't understand," You say quietly, fixing your eyes on the wall behind, unable to even look at him. Liam stops, baffled by your words. Kneeling beside you, he takes your hands into his own, "Help me understand, (Y/N)." 
Louis: You and Louis have always been rocky, especially after the honeymoon phase ended and the reality of marriage kicked you both in the ass. He's always been one to jump to conclusions and you've always been the victim of his temper on such occasions. When you were dating it was always a rollercoaster, but he had his hooks in you so deep that you always hoped that things would get better. They didn't. Even after two years of marriage, and a two month old daughter, he was still the same old Louis. He'll never change, and that's why you've decided to take Wendy and run. His response to you announcing that the two of you are leaving is quite the opposite of what you expected. Instead of throwing chairs across the room and screaming in your face, his tough exterior crumbles and he breaks down. You've never seen him this vulnerable. "(Y/N), I can change, I can- I can be better for you," He declares, shaking his head in disbelief with tears flooding his blue eyes, "Please don't give up on me. I know I'm awful, I know, but please let me fix this. I be the man you need me to be, just don't leave. I need you, and I need Wendy." He falls to his knees before you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, holding you close to him. This is a side of Louis that you've never seen, you had no idea it even existed. You don't say anything, just simply try to take all of this in. It figures that just when you finally build up the courage to get out, he does his best to convince you otherwise. "Louis, stop," You say, fighting against every urge to just give in to him, that familiar gaze and the immediate comfort that you can't help but feel in his arms. This is not going to be easy. 
Niall: Niall rarely cries, his male bravado basically forbidding it. In all the time you've been married to him, going on seven years next July, you've only seen your husband cry maybe five or six times. It's always you being the emotional wreck, not him. His only trigger is the threat that he might lose you, which is exactly what you told him is about to happen. You're leaving him. For another man. "Why?" He asks, sitting at the kitchen table across from you, staring down at the divorce papers before him, "Why, (Y/N)?" You bite your lip, internally kicking yourself for springing this on him out of nowhere. He had no idea that you were even considering this, as far as he knew you were happy. He didn't know about the man that you've been secretly seeing behind his back for about a year now. It got to a point where you couldn't live this double life anymore and you had to tell him, get it off your chest and leave. You love Niall, but not enough to stay. You start to say something but you're cut off by his heart-wrenching sobs that are so foreign to you, having never seen him this torn up, "What does he give you that I can't, huh? What is it? Does he love you the way I do? God, (Y/N), I try so hard to give you the world. I love you so much, so much, so fucking much-" He balls his hand into a fist and rests it against his forehead, the veins becoming prominent on the side of his head. Tears slowly start to slip out of your eyes, silently raining down your cheeks: you are literally the scum of the earth. "I'm not signing these. I'm not losing you," He rises from his chair and in the blink of an eye he's kneeling before you, his hands on both of your cheeks, "I'm not fucking losing you." He crashes his lips to your own and an unimaginable amount of guilt washes over your entire body. You love Niall, but you're not sure if you can be with him anymore. Pushing him back, you shake your head, completely crumbling before him as the confusion clouds your mind. 
Zayn: "Oh, for God's sake, (Y/N), you're fucking unbelievable," Zayn shouts, lifting his hands to his hair and closing his eyes in frustration. He breathes a deep sigh and grits his teeth, clearly trying to control his temper before he explodes. You take a cautious step forward, bracing yourself for whatever he might do. "Zayn, I want a divorce," You repeat, watching the way he physically flinches at your words, a look of disgust and sorrow flooding his formerly angry face, "This isn't a marriage, it's a dictatorship." It's almost as if you've slapped him, the way he recoils from your harsh statement. That's what you want to do, you want to hurt him in whatever way you can. Lord knows you've taken enough abuse from him these past few years. Shaking his head, he meets your gaze, confusion and anguish in his eyes, unable to speak. The two of you stand there in bitter silence, waiting for the other to say something, anything. Finally he breaks, running his hand down his face and wiping away a few tears that have escaped in the process. "Nobody-" He starts, cutting himself off when his voice cracks, lowering his head in absolute defeat, "Nobody else is going to love me, (Y/N), I can't be alone. I-I need you here, please." He clutches his chest and tugs at the fabric of his shirt, sheer pain in both his eyes and words. A small part of you feels sympathy for him because you know how much he loves you, but the more rational side of you says that you can't keep saving him. "Please, (Y/N), please don't do this. I'll quit smoking, I'll be a better husband, I will, I promise," He begs, inching closer to you and making it harder for you to deny him what he wants.

-Muskaan xx