Q: What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?"
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: "Please, no stories!"
Q. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? A: "A beer please, and one for the road."
Q: You know what's fun about being sober? A: Nothing.
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila? A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle? A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Q: How can you find the guy who drank a case of Coors Light? A: He's the one dancing like an asshole!
Q: How do you know a man is really really gay? A: When he's nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels? A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of Miller Lite instead of one.
Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast? A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking? A: He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? A: The sofa doesn't keep asking for Bud Light!
Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat? A: They are both SO close to water!
Q: What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common? A: Their both empty from the neck up!
Q: Why are Men like coolers? A: Load them with Bud Light, and you can take them anywhere!
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q: Where do monkeys go to drink? A: The monkey bars!
Q: Why don't Democrats drink? A: It interferes with their suffering!
Q: What happens when you cross a gynecologist drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and sexy blonde drinking Smirnoff Vodka? A: a "Pabst Smir!"
Q: How do you start a parade in the ghetto? A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Q: How do you know when you really pissed off your Bartender? A: She leaves her string in the Bloody Mary!
Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey? A: Because it makes him mean!
Q: What does an alcoholic ghost drink? A: BOO'S
Q: What do you call a man with a shot of whiskey on his head? A: A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much liquor and is being a nuisance.
