Dear diary

Shley~ 1

It's been a month already i'm sweating and it's not even came the day to face them nor their punishments. I know i'm supposed to not let anyone stomp on me or step on top of me but right now that'a all i really want to do take it all in, soak and die in my wet misery of a life. I've been a sponge my whole life sitting here letting them all use me and pour their sorrows into my pockets until i was full and they knew i was gonna break and get them the social attention they wanted.

Sadly I knew that this is what they wanted and yet I filled people's low expectations of me once again cause that's what I seem to do to myself and never fail to please this expectation. There's always that one person that tells me it's okay when I fail or slip up cause that's what Shley James does in life anyways so why not just keep telling her this who she is and make her feel alright about it?

Andy W Marries she's the fashion leader the minion nominator. 5 custom made channel key chains are maid every year for the fresh meat of St. Lauren Elizabeth private school and that one key is the lock to one thousand dead ends all dying with her name at the end and a knife in your back. I received one of those key chains and sooner or later took way to many steps in the dark side.

April 12 2014

"She got pregnant and she cried cause the babies father was Damian Dreacot and that was dreadful as they were waiting for the right time for destiny to stick them together." Grace barely managed to slur at me in the bar we bribed our way into. I didn't even look at a martini meanwhile Grace, Lily, Diane and Lox drank their asses off. "Oh yea!" Lily shouted from a corner as she detached from the boy she was make out with for the past 20 minutes with, she finally took a breath and wiped of the messy lipstick that she could from the sides of her mouth. he wobbled over to the couch where we were and hooked her arm over Diane "That was the night he put the cameras in the limo, Damian remembered the cameras," Lily giggled "not the gummy" and they all childishly laughed.

Diane put her Margarita down and looked at me "When A found out she was expecting she freaked. her mom was in Belgium for business on the new under garments line and her father was making out with his mistress in their private villa in Punta mita. She only had the maid and she was off bounds from D until destiny shit came up." Diane bitterly laughed and looked at Lox she had the worst grin on her mouth. "she sold the sex tape Damian took to pay the abortion off and then the sex tape got sold for double the amount to TMZ and then her world crashed down"

Lox picked up the story again "when the tape was sold and posted on Twitter it all came down. Damian was basically screwed and he had no where to go since A completely cut him off until he helped get rid of the beast, sorry baby. So he ran back to her like she planned and he drove her to the sessions. and then she got depressed she felt empty and all this shit so she went to the 13th floor of the Kharles station building and tempted to jump until Damian saved her, he just got there in time to grab her wrist and save her ass." Lox laughed again and it sent a shiver down my spine. "After that they got married in like grade 10 in VEGAS!" they all laughed, a bitter layer of judgment in their chuckle. "we all had cheap Chanel dresses and she wore a 2009 Valentino white gown. she still cringes at the thought. they got married and as they got in the car Damian was shot by a gang for 50000$ in dept and he married her to pay it off, they still wanted him dead so they still shot him and Andy gave them triple the price. Turns out she had a 100000$ crack deal with this gang and when he was shot the opportunity came up to get the shit and pay them." Lily explained.

"once her mom found out of all the shit and their was people asking for info in exchange of money to her own mother! Anonymous girl started and it was balsted with shit on end. No names just proof revenge and pics. People confided in her. She had a number and email and everything. She didnt want money she was repaid in gossip. But if you lied you were as good as dead. Anonymous was assumed to be Andy to ruin her self and give her self an excuse to kill her self but it soon became obsession to the world. people needed to know and Andy got worst and worst until she was tooken to a home for help and she got attention she needed and was sent out to a relaxing dojo in china and came back 3 months later almost strangly calm" Lox told me. the conversation nocked them all sober to the point the conversation became vital to the group. "That's when things got even worst. She regained her self 2 months earlier, was realsed, sent her realease note to my house, and ran of to the Las Vegas playboy mansion got high had sex with the world drank and almost got an STD twice." Lily explained.

Then they all fell silent as if i had a dunce cap on my face. "but you're just a new be no need for you to know the rest" they all said and returned to their margeritas. I just left when the waiter brought them crack lines and that night I sent my recordings to Anonymous and made sure she knew it wasn't from me. The next day i sent her a cheque an unadressed cheque and told her to cash it if she kept quiet.

That all remained at broad until Andy gave me the gold key chain. She trusted me and I was standing by her for a stupid anonymous girl to notice me. But this was the dirty game i had to play and this is what i played.

I am a prostitue for heavens sake i needed to pay off this life I live and until my mom doesn't sober up I can't do much but do this and Bail my sister for illigal drug dealing which she was falsly accussed of and save my other's sisters ass who needs a father to sigh her sons birth certificate so she won't get shot by the actual dad's wife. They have the english forces on her until she's dead or knows this baby isn't her husband's. I need this money and if i keep the timbts going I'll get money sooner or later I know it. The bigger the scarifice and the bigger the bitch the more money this girl might send me and the closer i get to saving my life.

it was selfish but i was now or never.

Shley~