The Lady Ambrose

SIX

"Do you feel ready?" I ask him softly as we stand at the top of the steps to the palace, waving goodbye as coaches pass by on their way out toward the gates.

"For this?" He gestures to both of us. I nod and look down instinctively.

"I don't think I am." I say quickly, not liking the tense feeling I had created with that question.

"It's a very major, abrupt change for both of us." He says holding his hands behind his back. "But here's the important thing to remember." I look up at him. He sidesteps towards me and leans in close. "This is only the first day. I know that everyone expects a lot from you, from me as well; but I promise you, no one expects you to be ready for this right now. Maybe someday we will be, but until then let's just take this one day at a time. Can you do that?"

As stone cold as he had been acting the whole evening, his words caught me by surprise.

"I'm willing to try." I smile a little.

"Then, I am too." He held out his hand. "We'll try this together, okay?"

I nod again. "I've really enjoyed talking to you this evening, I look forward to talking with you more while you're staying here."

"I could not agree more, your highness." He lifted my hand and kissed it again. "We have the whole week here to talk and spend time together, so for now we should retire for the night."

"Very well. Goodnight, Sir Eros."

"Goodnight, my lady; Nesrin."  He kisses my hand a third time before the king takes my arm to lead me back inside.

I replay our parting in my head over and over again as I prepare for bed. I refused to sleep in Eunoia's bedroom, so the servants had another bedroom made up into the new and improved chamber of the princess. Eunoia's room was now on lockdown and being preserved for research purposes and evidence. Many no longer feel safe in the palace, the king has ordered two guards to stand watch over my room in case the killer comes after me too. Eunoia's bodyguard, Elias, stands outside the door of my room which is locked and the new guard stands outside on the ground.

I try to pretend that I'm safe and there's nothing to worry about. The shower is a warm and welcome distraction, it feels good to finally take off all that hair product and wipe off all the makeup. The servants are kind enough to take away my dress but I send them away afterwards. The servants were used to helping Eunoia to prepare for bed and for the day, but I am independent and not a royal. It felt strange having someone else do these things for me. So I was trying to take Eros's words to heart; not only taking one day at a time but one step at a time as well.

The clothes in my room were mostly mine. The king and Queen went to great lengths to have this room prepared and stocked with all of my things, including all of my plant babies from my home. The servants even delivered new dresses and clothes fit for a royal; none of them are Eunoia's to my relief.

Opening the top drawer of the nightstand, I find it full of brand new nightgowns. My family was poor and could never afford such fine frilly sleep wear, I always longed for it though. I could see the Queen loving touch in the clothes, most of them were blue.

"The blue to her pink." I whisper sadly.

These must be her initial efforts to bring me in and help me feel like I'm really a part of this family.

I slowly dress myself for bed, as silent tears cascade down my cheeks. I circle the room turning on a few lights, I then turn on the gramophone in the corner of the room. It plays soft piano as I dance a little back to my bed.

I'm reminded of the dances I'd shared with Eros earlier that evening. Our first dance was in the middle of the dance floor in front of everyone, however every dance after that was on the balcony in front of the open doors. We talked for the entire evening, it's only been one day and I feel a part of me already would trust him with my life.

I trust my gut. Whoever killed Eunoia, it wasn't Eros.

Could it have been a servant of his? Or his father? His siblings are small and meek compared to him, and they're so young; I doubt anyone that young could even think about murder let alone follow through with it.

Eunoia was a feisty girl, she'd wrestle with her brothers if not for the pressure of royal duties. If someone had broken into her room, she would have screamed, reacted, even fought.

And yet she was found dead in the bathroom. No screams. The room in perfect order. But why?

*Knock knock* Someone was at my bedroom door. I stand up from the bed and put on the robe beside me. "Your highness," Elias says relieving some tension. "The Queen is here."

"Let her in." I say with a heavy sigh.

The door opens, and Queen slips inside closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry to visit so late, I just wanted to make sure you're settled in." She smiles softly at me.

The party had ended hours ago. Everyone else was in bed asleep, including the staff. I knew why she was really here.

"I can't sleep either." I say holding my arms. "I keep thinking about her. Wondering why... why her? Why not me?" I start to cry uncontrollably. "I wish I could take her place."

The Queen rushes over to me and embraces me. "No." Her voice quivers as her tears begins to flow as well. "Please don't say that." She begged me. "I miss her too, I do, but you're the closest thing to her I have left. I need you to be strong too." I don't respond, all I can do is heave into her shoulder.

She sits down on the bed and I sit beside her, we sit there together crying. We never had the chance to pause and process Eunoia's passing, everything we'd bottled up for the evening and as now gushing out. My concept of time was gone, we stayed like that for goodness knows how long. After a while, we calmed down and simply sat together.

"I want to make you as comfortable here as I can." She says to me, running her fingers through my hair. "And I want to help you prepare for your engagement, wedding, and marriage to prince Eros. I groomed Eunoia her whole life for an arrangement like this, I promise to do my best in these eight months to prepare you."

"I appreciate that." I sniffly a little and wipe my nose. "My mom was grooming me to be a normal woman, and now what Eunoia learned in a lifetime, I must learn in eight months."

She sighs. "It sounds impossible when you say it that way, but it took Eunoia that long and she never fully learned it. Her training wasn't done. And it was mostly because it was met with resistance. I think it'll be a lot easier for you to learn and do it well it within our window of time. Eros will never know the difference."

I look down sadly.

Eros will never know? That thought is just a little heartbreaking. Almost as if, some part of me wants him to know. To know that I'm not the princess, so that our marriage is not based on lies. So that he knows his wife, his real wife. Maybe then I could fully trust him.

And it was in this moment that I decided, one day I would tell him the truth. Even if it meant that in the end I would lose everything.