1996

Night Walks

"Thanks for the food and everything, I'll get you back for it." Dean said, holding the door open for Cas as they left the diner. Always a gentleman, Cas thought as he stepped back out into the night.

     "That's not necessary, you repaid me by giving me the best burger I've ever had." And it was, Cas still worried about the state of his vessel after travelling here, but he couldn't think of anything that he could do about that without causing attention to be brought to him. He'd wait to regain strength and pray he could get back if he needed. 

     Dean smiled at that. "Well I ought to head home." 

     "You're gonna be all alone. Are you sure?" Cas asked, hesitant and trying not to intrude but not ready to say goodnight.

     "Don't worry about me. I'm used to it."

     Cas frowned a bit at that. The Dean he knows, whether he admits or not, hates being alone. He likes having someone to talk to, someone in the passenger seat. The silence haunts him. He likes waking up and having morning coffee ready for him. Likes going out to eat with Sam and Cas. Likes watching TV and making snarky comments about the girls in the show. Loves going to bed knowing his family is safe and close by. But maybe this Dean doesn't have nightmares yet, maybe young Dean wasn't as paranoid. Maybe that's a good thing. And just maybe, Cas could try to keep it that way.

---

"Hey, I'll be alright. Maybe I'll see you later this week or somethin'?" Dean tried to reassure the boy, putting his hand on Cas' shoulder.

     "Yes. I mean s-sure... I'll walk you home though." 

     Dean laughed a bit, surprised at Cas' sudden confidence. "Sounds great."

       So they walked through the empty town, nearly void of light besides flickering orange street lamps and peppered tv screens making living rooms glow blue. Dean was still a little drunk, but it seemed the food helped with his impulsivity. To be honest, when he first saw Cas behind the motel, smiling gently at him like an old friend, he'd wanted to eat him alive. He was usually a pretty horny drunk but there was just something about this kid. His soft black hair, big blue eyes, lanky limbs- God; It was angelic. He also had a thing for uh, corruption so to say. Cas seemed so innocent, if not a bit socially awkward but Dean found it cute. More than cute.

     Dean wasn't completely gay, that much he knew, but damn if Castiel wasn't just as beautiful- if not more- than any woman he'd ever seen. Those cheekbones and slim hips were enough to give anyone a bit of a sexuality crisis. 

      "My...cheekbones?" Cas said, cutting Dean off from his daydreams as they passed the last building before the town turned into just scattered homes and churches.

     "Sorry I uh, didn't mean to say that."

      Cas laughed a bit, "It's alright. Um... your cheeks are also very nice?"

     It was an odd way to phrase a compliment but it did turn Dean's tan and freckled cheeks into bright roses. "T-thanks." Dean should really stop thinking out loud, or thinking about this at all. He didn't wanna scare Cas off, the kid seemed pretty reserved. Kept to himself, dressed modestly. He looked like a weird youth group leader or something. More than that, Dean just wanted to make sure he kept him at a distance. People that got too close to the Winchesters didn't usually stay close for long. Death or fear would make memories of them all. That or John would find out.

     His father didn't like the boys making friends, thought it would make them soft. And by that Dean had every right to assume he would beat the shit out of him if he found out he was bisexual. Dean could practically smell the blood in his nose at the thought, he'd gotten beat for far less. If they got too attached, they would all pack up and move. Their work had them moving around a lot but they always ended up back in Lawrence one way or another. Dean knew one day he'd be buried here, in the dry dirt under sunburnt grass and a false cross to a god that didn't exist. It made him depressed but it was something his life had taught him. You can't escape death.

     Cas looked so innocent, like a fawn stumbling around for the first time. But his eyes were so deep, like his eyes had been formed from the baltic sea. The way Cas looked though, still so angelic and ancient. Like a statue. Maybe the seas themselves were based off his eyes. Dean laughed a bit. God, he was drunker than he thought, turning into some sappy poet in his mind. They were just blue eyes, and a lot of people...look like they walked straight out of ancient Greece... right?

     Soon enough they reached the edge of town. "It's a long walk through the fields from here, are you sure you wanna keep goin'?" 

     "Yes, but if you'd rather have me go-"

     "Hey, I like you- I mean I don't want you to go. It's just about an hour til my road." 

     "All the more reason to make sure you get home safe." 

     "Alright, Alright," Dean laughed. They walked close, not too close though. Like there was some invisible barrier between them, about two feet apart, that both were too afraid to cross. Dean still couldn't believe that Cas, of all people, showed up in Lawrence. No one moved here. Dean would sell his left ball to get the fuck out of this place but Cas seemed so happy to be here. Or at the very least he didn't seem bothered by it. Not even as they spent far too long wandering down a long road, swatting bugs that flew out from the cornfields. He just kept walking, listening to Dean ramble. 

      "It's just farms, churches, and shitty bars out here. People just drink, pray, and get married to their highschool sweethearts and cheat on them in that motel you're stayin' in... it's pathetic a bit don't ya think? Ya know, I lived here my whole life, or most of it. I'm grown up but I still can't leave, I'd never abandon my brother," he said softly, not sure why he let something so... soft slip from his lips. 

     "I understand," Cas said, not prying any further. 

     Dean was surprised when he realized the house was coming up, he'd gotten so lost in conversation the hour passed like it had been ten minutes. This was something he noticed a lot with Cas. Time had no meaning when they were together. It slowed when Cas looked up to the stars, the light of the moon lighting up his eyes like they were glowing crystals. It moved a mile a minute when they talked. 

      "Uh, it's this one up here," Dean sighed, motioning to the house. "See now I'm worried about you gettin' home, I know this town far better than you do." 

     Cas let out a chuckle. "I'll be okay, promise." 

     The dirt turned to gravel as they walked up the driveway, and Dean was about to turn to say his goodbye when he saw the door was a bit open. Not a car in the driveway. "Stay here for a sec, okay? I gotta check something." He ran up to the porch, the stairs creaking underneath his boots. His hand went to the door, and everything went quiet but the sound of his heart beating against his ribcage. There was a symbol, some twisted spiral. A pack symbol.