ugly barfing✨✨
im so stupid,,, im such a fucking dumbass WHY DID I DO THAT WHY DID I FUCKING DO THAT i blocked him from feeling uncomfortable but..... oh my god that was one of my best friends that i wanted back i wanted him to come back and i fucking block him???? why am i even crying i missed him so much though why am i such a crybaby,,,, but he didnt know how uncomfortable i felt or how secret that was to me i feel so stupid i shouldnt have done that now i just have more reasons to want to commit suicide why did i even decide to do that long waiting and neglect everyone thing i left for literally no reason i feel so guilty and dumb what if when i decide to unblock him he already unfriended me or moved on i feel like such an idiot why cant my small brain process anything i feel like im not even valid or i shouldnt keep doing this maybe this is why i neglected social media out of fear that people would figure stuff out about me or i'll lose what i love but if i left and forgot about everything i wouldnt have to worry anymore im so dumb i get so angry and sad over everything the only things i feel anymore is anger, happiness, fear, anxiety and thats it i want to rethink my life and go back to make things right but then again i just dont i hate everything and i want it to stop but i have no idea what to do about it and im not sure i really can do anything about it because it'll all just make things worse or frustrating im so upset if i could prevent any of this from happening i would but i cant and everytime i want to die i think about everything good i have and get at least a little motivation but then again i just cant i dont want to continue this every slightly personal question im asked makes me think about ending it and i dont why im so fucking immature im such an asshole to everyone including my parents and sometimes i feel like maybe the world really would be better off without me all i do anymore is cry laugh and stare at my fucking phone its always between those i dont know how to help it anymore all i think about when it comes to this is death i dont know what to do i dont know whats best for me i dont know what i should do
have dumb thing i wrote while crying my ass off
