STAY(A BLACKPINK FANFICTION) | Discontinued

Kim Jisoo

This is your fault

Maybe it was. But no matter what I do I can't change what already happened.  I blamed myself everyday, And the nightmares kept coming back every night. I lost someone because I was so inconsiderate, I lost someone because I can't take no for an answer. If I just let her stay in her room all day and not force her to come out with me I would still have a best friend. I miss her, it's been 3 years. But I can't find it in me to look for her or ask about her whereabouts. Is she still alive? If she is, then where is she? But I'm too coward to look for her. Everything was my fault.

"Earth to Jisoo." I was snapped out of my thought by Yeri snapping her fingers infront of my face. I looked at her, Annoyance evident in my face. "You're zoning out. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Yeri." I quickly answered.

" We've been best friends for three years, I know when something's bothering you. What is it?" I shook my head. "Come on, Chu. You can tell me about it." I lift my head when the professor entered the classroom.

"Maybe next time Yeri." I said blandly not looking at her.

"It's not your fault you know." I looked at her. "I know you're thinking about her, And about what happened." She whispered since she does not want the professor to hear her. "But stop blaming yourself, Chu."

"Stop! I don't want to talk about it." I didn't realise I said that too loud that I got startled when the professor called me out.

"Ms. Kim Jisoo, Is everything alright?" I nod and then bowed my head.

"Everything is fine sir, I'm sorry." I looked at him and he just nod his head and continued with his discussion.

"I still don't understand why you're blaming yourself Chu." Yeri and I were sitting on the couch, watching some movie when she suddenly paused it and started talking. "And I'm sure as hell, she's not blaming you too."

"I'm really not in the mood to talk about it." I groaned. She just won't let this up.

"Until when will you let yourself be consumed by what happened Jisoo?" The tone of her voice raising.

"You don't understand Yeri!" I exclaimed. "Lisa is my best friend and I was the one who put her life in danger. It was my fault!" My life changed drastically when I lost my best friend. I want to look for her, Find out if she's still alive or what. When her mother pushed me away and told me to leave her alone and to not show my face ever again, I obeyed. I feel so guilty that I decided to run away. Run away from the guilt, Run away from the pain of potentially seeing my best friend dead. I was a coward. I still am. And the only thing I know I can do is to blame myself.

I was sobbing and Yeri pulled me for a hug.
"I wish I could do a lot more than I am doing right now just to make you understand that it's not your fault." She was rubbing my back, I'm not usually a crier, but when I lost lisa I can't do anything but to just cry.
"But I can only tell you for a thousand time that nothing Is your fault, You have to know Jisoo. Stop blaming yourself." I shook my head frantically, Still sobbing.
"Shhh, Stop Jisoo. You're tired, Just take a rest."

"Come on Lisa! Stop sulking in your bed. It won't do you any good." I said pulling on the arm of my best friend who was face planted on her bed.

"Stop!" She groaned pulling her arm back "Chu, I'm tired. I'm having a Lazy day, leave me alone please." Her voice muffled by the pillow on her face.

"Lalisa, Please!" I whined, I curse her strength, no matter how hard I pull her she just won't budge. "Stop Sulking! I know you miss her. I do too."

"Unnieeeee!"

"I'll call Chaeng If you don't get up now." I threatened.

"Then call her." Argh! This stubborn jerk.

"Okay. I'll tell her how you're sulking in your bed again and not taking care of yourself." I reached out for my phone typing in chaeyoung's number. "You know how she'll react right? I hope you're ready for her outburst once I told her you're not even taking a shower and not eating well."

"Yah! I'm taking care of myself FYI." She again Groaned.

"Well, you're not, at least not according to what I see l." I smiled at her when she peeked from her pillow. I brought my phone up to my ear waiting for Chaeyoung to answer.

"She will not answer, Chu." She stated  sadly. I creased my eyebrow waiting for her to explain. "I haven't talk to her for like a week now."

"And why is that?" I asked Curious. Well, She and Chaeyoung are like the closest. They're like closer than me and her.

"She's busy. Always busy. Don't even have the time to ask her best friend how she's doing." She sighed. "Why are you even still here Jisoo?" I looked at her curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone left already. Why are you still here?" She looked away then sat up on her bed. "I'm not worth keeping Jisoo, Not as a daughter, As a lover, Or even as a Friend. So just leave me alone, please?"

"I'm not leaving Lisa. Stop saying all those nonsense, you're worth a lot more than what you're owning yourself to be. I'm here to stay." I stood up and opened the door. "Now get up there and fix yourself. I'll wait for you downstairs."

Surprisingly fifteen minutes later she came down all freshen up.
"Now you look like an actual human." I teased. "Let's go! off to the park." I grabbed her hand and dragged her outside.

"Yah! Unnie." She groaned while I laugh.

"Stop Unnie! My stomach hurts." Lisa said holding her stomach while laughing loudly. I laughed with her, We were just joking around while walking on the side walk on our way to the park and then we heard a honk, turning my head back I saw a Car speeding towards our direction. I was stuck there standing with wide eyes, when I felt someone pushed me. I was in shock. Then I saw my best friend got hit by the speeding Car, she was thrown away while the car proceed to hit a post. I can't move or even call for help, I just sat there staring at my best friend covered in blood. I saw the driver of the Car got out of the vehicle he was swerving while walking, He has blood on his head but he walked towards Lisa and called for help.

I heard the ambulance and rush of people, someone was talking to me but I can't understand what he was saying. Everything was a blur after that.

"This is all your fault!"

I Jolted awake, scanning my surroundings. I'm in my room, Sweating, labored breathing and frantic eyes. This nightmares, no, Memories kept flashing back. Everything that happened that day just kept coming back to me, How Useless I was to just stare at my best friend covered with her own blood. I couldn't even do anything to help. How useless was I. It should've been me, But she saved me. And yet I couldn't even call for help when she was laying there pooling with blood. I should've done something, But I did not. I'm so stupid. So useless.

I Just want to forget.