Scars (H.S. au)

8

...My eyes fell on the shiny instrument that I had used just the day before and I felt a familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. The urge to cut myself was back. 

I shook the thought out of my head. Cutting was not the cure. I did not have much regrets on the act I did earlier but I knew if I wanted to be strong and not weak, then cutting would not solve anything. 

I got up from my place off the floor and started towards my bedroom, before I could get more tempted by the sharp, lifeless object.

I decided that a nap was what I needed to clear my head of the never-ending thoughts. I plugged in my earphones into my iPod and clicked on shuffle. 

Skies are crying, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence, as it's ending, like we never had a chance.
Do you have to make me feel like, there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have 
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed
All my windows, still are broken, but I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have 
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper 

Skyscraper by Demi Lovato played first. I couldn't help but feel like the lyrics to the song fit perfectly to my situation; my life actually. The tears once again escaped my now puffy, sore and tired eyes without hesitation. They made their way past my bruised cheek and down to the bend of my neck. 

But the song gave me hope. I felt like I could also stand up to him and fight him; ask him why he did what he did. Did he seek pleasure in doing so? The answer to that was crystal clear to me, but what I didn't know was why. 

I felt stronger as I listened to the song, and I had a strong urge to face him tomorrow. I wanted to show him I was not a weak girl anymore. I would fight him back tomorrow, won't let him near me and I would go back to Andy to be friends with him no matter what Harry said. 

I just hoped the new found courage I had wouldn't sweep away when I faced him tomorrow. 

~~~

I was finishing some of my homework; yes my homework, thank God Harry didn't give me anymore. Or maybe he had to give me some, but I never stopped by him at the end of school. 

The sound of the front door opening and closing followed by the rustling of plastic bags was heard coming from downstairs. I assumed my parents were back home so I sprinted down to greet them.

"Hey mom! Hey dad!" I beamed right when I saw them. 

"Hi Sam," my mom chuckled. "What's with the sudden enthusiasm?" She joked reciprocating the smile. 

"Oh nothing, just feeling a little hyper is all," I told her. The actual reason being, I felt much more stronger and I felt like things could really go different tomorrow if I fought Harry back. 

"Mhmm, nice." She nodded while my dad mouthed a hello to me in between and kissed my forehead. 

They both walked into the kitchen with me trailing behind. Being the only child, I've been really loved by both of them, and I too love both of them. Since I don't really have any friends, my phone or the internet is more or less pointless for me, so I try to spend as much time as I can with my family also the only people who love and care about me. 

My mom put the little grocery she bought on her way home in their places and my dad made his tea and went to the living room. 

"Darling, why don't you go sit with your dad and I'll be there in a minute." My mom spoke up. "We have something to tell you."

I scanned my mom's face to see if it was anything serious but by the looks of it she seemed really excited. 

"Alright." I smiled and hopped -well not literally- to the living room. My dad was drinking his tea while watching the hourly news on TV as usual. I sat down on the couch adjacent to his and started playing with my hoodie strings, waiting for my mom to come. As if on cue, she came in with her face still holding the excitedness. 

"What's up mom?" I asked curiously. 

My mom glanced at my dad and it seemed to me that they were debating who would talk first, using eye language. I raised my eyes expectantly at my dad when he looked my way. 

"Ok so, you know how our wedding anniversary is approaching right?" He started. I nodded my head feebly, looking at my mom shortly to see her unchanged expression as she listened to my dad speak. 

"And well, since its our 20th one, we really want to take a holiday and spend some time abroad relaxing and all." My dad continued seeming excited too but not anymore than my mom. 

"Its like another honeymoon." My mom rushed, too excited to hold it in any longer, and looking lovingly at my dad, while I just sat there glancing at the two. 

"Aww, I'm so happy for you guys." I said looking at my two idols so happy and far in their lives. "Where are you planning on going?"

"We'll go to Singapore for a few days, then to Malaysia, maybe Turkey too but we're not sure, and then we head back."

"That's great," I said jumping up from my seat to them and hugging them both. "I hope you two have the best time ever!"

~~~

The next day, I was very much prepared for anything that would come my way, which was mostly Harry. The new found courage and determination I got just the day before hadn't faded away, thankfully. 

I walked up to the entrance with my head up, chest out - not literally - and a brave face on and so far I was doing great, even though 'so far' had just been the walk to the school doors. 

I vaguely heard the snickers and whispers about me leave the mouths of people surrounding me, but I chose not to give any ounce of my attention to them. I stayed put and reached my locker. Once I got my books, I headed to where Nathan told me his locker was. 

Yes, I was going to talk to him. 

I could see him standing there with his back facing me and talking to another guy who I presumed to be a friend. As I approached them, the guy who was with him left just before I could reach them. He waved and went off in the other direction while Andy turned back to face his locker, resuming his earlier exchange of books. 

I patted him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention. He turned to see me standing there and instantly his face lit up, making mine react the same way. 

"Sammmiee!"

He engulfed me in a big bear hug. 

"Nattthhhhaaan!" I chuckled as I mimicked his tone and a big grin etched on my face. It was the biggest smile I had worn in a long time. It felt like it reached up to my eyes and it was amazing to feel so happy again. 

"I thought you didn't want to hangout with me anymore because you didn't like me." He looked down disappointedly. I felt pang in my heart as he said those words. That was not the reason at all. 

"No no no no!" I rushed. "I'm really sorry I was just having a bad day yesterday and wanted to be alone. It has nothing to do with not liking you. God, no!" I shook my head at him hoping he'd understand. 

"Oh well alright. I'm glad to hear that!" His smile returned. "I'll catch you later though. Don't wanna be late for class." 

And with that he left. I sighed in relief as I watched him walk away. Atleast I have him back. 

I was just watching as his frame disappeared into a classroom, when somebody pulled me roughly from the shoulder, resulting in me jolting back and almost falling to the ground. After being turned around I was pushed out the back doors of school and this time I did tumble down from the stairs and fell to the ground after the last step. I landed with my hands rubbing against the rough, uneven ground. I looked at my hands to see I now had scratches and a big gash on my left hand. I was just examining it when I felt the person who so rudely pushed me, now kick me on the back of my thigh. 

"Get up!" The person bellowed from behind me. I knew that voice and the tone of the voice all too well by now. 

I turned my head round to see my suspicions were correct, because standing there with hands in tight fists and jaw clenched hard, was Harry. 

"I said, get up!"

"Okay okay, no need to be so pushy. Besides you're the reason I was on the ground anyways." I scoffed at him while getting up and dusting off the dirt from my clothes. The words had left my mouth without any hesitation and it surprised both me and Harry. I didn't know I had gathered that much courage by just a song yesterday, enough to answer him back and with equal attitude. I felt great to not be afraid nor weak nonetheless. 

My pride was swept away from me when his strong fist collided with me jaw and threw me back with so much force, I hit the brick wall behind me. He had never hit me that hard so far. I shouldn't have been to shocked by his reaction to me, but I was. I reached my hand up to my jaw only to wince back with the slightest touch and see blood on my fingers when I drew it back. 

"You never ever talk to me like that ever again! You understand?!" Harry was shouting in my ear at this point and I flinched at his volume. 

"And I remember very well that I told you not be with that Nathan guy anymore." He continued, volume not faltering even in the slightest bit. 

"You don't tell me what to do! I know very well what I should and should not do!" I fought back, continuing to surprise myself. I wondered what consequences I'd have to face for my outburst but at this point I was fuming; too angry to care. 

A punch made its way to make stomach making me double over in pain. 

"Did you not hear what I just said?!"

"I don't care what you say!" I managed to let the words out. I gave him a light push on his chest with my injured hands. 

There was silence for what felt like minutes and I finally decided to look up from my crouched position to see why he didn't say anything. His face was just inches away from mine. His features coated with anger while darkness, anger and complete fury laced his once green eyes. It was now that I became scared of him and realised what I just put myself into; all my courage slowly and steadily washing away. 

The six words that followed next were what really made shudder and regret my actions. 

"You'll wish you never said that."

A/N:

Soo I updated finally