When I stepped into grade five, I started meeting new people again. I mean not only my classmates but also, other people outside my classroom. I believed I'm quite introvert. I only make friends, on my class. I would sometimes have 4-5 fun friends out of 30 people in the class.
I had this liking on this guy named, Alvin because I heard about him from my friend. She said that they're a childhood friend, but he's dating someone else, and he's also like trying to date her.
Like I did not understand that but I tried to squeeze into the picture. I chatted that guy and yes, he's very good-looking, a hot guy.
He tried to talk but eventually, it was just ruined because he finds me annoying already, and I was hurt.
That time I had a crush again. He's a year older than me same with Alvin. Most of the guy that I like were a year older than me. His name was Tatsuya and yeah, he has Japanese blood. I'm so in love. He looks so sweet, gentleman, and he's also in part of the star section. (Although tatsuya wasn't that good-looking he's the type of man to marry and Alvin is the type of man to mess with. Just for a short period of time. I suck for saying that, am I? )
No, I couldn't really make friends with him with the busy schedule but I tried to reach him on his Facebook. Yeah, I guess I was desperate. But, that's the reason I started to like him more because he's so nice.
I even talked to my bus mate about him and I told her not to tell him which I believe she did. But I think no way. Would she really hide my secret?
So, they're classmate and also friends. I also just tried to make friend with his friend, too.
I know I was desperate hahaha. But I thought something was up on us. A relationship that's getting better but no. Because we only chat and talked online most of the time. I thought maybe he liked me, too. But he told me like a slap on my face that he likes one of my best friend. Okay?
Friend zone.
At least this relationship was better than the first, right?
Back to the story...
Girl.
I was, okay. Hold up. Of course, and since I tried to conceal myself and my emotion. I said oh really? I'll push you to my friend. I said making it worst, right? I told him i wouldn't tell her but I told her. And also my friend, we're friend right? Knew about my feeling for him. Anyway i don't know if something happened to them but I just gave up. You like her okay then be with her. But they've never been together.
When I stepped into grade six. I'm already graduating that time I had lots of friends that time and one of that is Nicole. We talked about boys because basically we just jived. I couldn't remember if I have any crush that time. When I'm not sure of the person i don't tell people I like someone and isn't it weirds that I tell people I like them but not on their face, maybe? I was really weird.
So Nicole liked two guys, but she liked the other one way more than the other one.
And I'm pretty sure I knew Paul because of her and also my other friend had a crush on his friend.
So, they're quite like a big group of freshman highschool, and we're in grade six. So, why do we like older men?
Not only me.
So then she told me I can have Paul like I can really have him. I mean I can fantasize about him about silly things.
He has the only one with a girlfriend out of that big group and I'm not sure after more than 8 years I'm still alive they're still in love. I'm not sure.
Yeah! but I just liked him and I guess I just respect his relationship with that woman because I don't know her. I only know she's kind. But I know I don't stood a chance. But I just tried.
She also went to the same school. On the other hand, Paul was part of the star section, a basketball player, and he's also good-looking.
And me if you want to know as well I'm never been part of the star section. I don't see myself good enough. I guess just have low self-esteem.
Anyway. I tried to stalk him, look at him like a total weirdo every time there's a chance during break time. In fact, I love break time, classes over so i could watch him whether he plays basketball or just whatever like I would stalk him every time. Talk to him to my friend again who's also in the star section with tats. I didn't talk to tats after that. And nothing really happens, right? I was just maturing every time.
Now, I started reaching Paul on his Facebook, and he answered me. But he wasn't really friendly like what my friend/my bus mate and his classmate that time talked about.
Opposite of the nice. He's bad.
But maybe it was also because of me.
He called me FC, or someone who acts like you close with a person. But to him I'm pretty much a stranger. And yeah, I fell in love and got to know him from my friend. And that was their relationship but our relationship. The relationship I had with him was one-sided. You don't call that even a relationship and I'm just a total stranger to him. Since then, I stopped.
I just started liking K-pop star. I knew I still like him before that but i just stopped trying to communicate my feeling for him there was many reasons.
When I was in junior highschool, and he was a senior I'm quite sad because ill never see him again. He's graduating and transferring to other school.
He's also going to college and i would be left alone with just friend and no crush to see again that is what i thought anyway that time he was running for a position at our school he's really cool to that. And I still would never forget what he did. But I don't also blame him for doing that. I am forgiving and it wasn't that serious.
So, they were campaigning that time. And I guess a lot of people know that I like him. I'm pretty sure people know but never him. He was in our classroom and some of my classmate just told him to say hi to me.
And maybe, he did that for the campaign he went to my seat at the back while my friend were screaming and you know just did what my classmate told him. He thinks I would buy that?
As far as I could remember we couldn't really vote for him just the president I think he was only running as representative of his batch.
Anyway, I was not sure of his relationship with his GF that time they seem to be on an on off relationship and i wouldn't stood a chance…
Maybe this is hard reality but I guess I'm just a loyal person. I like him and that's it whether he had treated me good and bad.
My happiness doesn't only one from him and I never looked for happiness.
Because that breaks relationship. Isn't it?
When school year was almost over it qa my first time and most awaited Junior and Senior prom.
While practicing I had this partner he's from a senior batch that is how it was arranged girls were partnered to senior boys.
You know I have a thing for older men, and he's not exempted even he's not a catch.
But why the heck on that very day of the prom he ditched me. The exchanged me to another woman. I mean how could you. He said if it was fine, as if I have a choice… I said alright he didn't wanna dance well we danced but that was the day.
