a study of character

we live in a society

"Okay, now on to you."

He moved very carefully trying not to scare me.

I wanted to tell him that I didn't know what to do. That I was scared of everything around me which was now enormous compared to me. And most importantly, I wanted him to help me.

But I couldn't. Every time I attempted to say a single word I just sounded like a hysterical bird. Well, I was a hysterical bird.

He got my attention by saying "Hey, hey, look at me. Just look at me. I know you are scared, but I am here for you." His voice soothing and calming my nerves. But I still wasn't sure I knew how to relax. I mean I couldn't even make out if I would be able to fly to him if I wanted to.

"I need you to do something for me. I can't hex you back while you're up there. So, I need you to fly down to me. Can you do that for me? I wall catch you no matter what! Can you do that for me?"

I still wasn't able to explain to him that I had obviously never flown before and wasn't sure if I even knew how to do it, but I think something very dumb in my brain wanted to make him proud. At least a little bit. So, I threw all caution to the wind and jumped.

"Use your wings! Try to use your wings!"

Yes! But how?

I just catched a glimpse of his panicked face as he tried estimate where I would land to catch me. And just inches before I hit the ground he jumped forward, arms out, and catched me just before I would've hurt myself badly on the wooden floor.

There we were now. Me, a bird, lying on my back with my wings spread out, in his hands. Him, a professor and very much human, as far as I could tell, on his stomach with his arms stretched out before him.

He must have scraped his chin on impact, because there was fresh blood forming there.

Professor Lupin was the first to move again. He said himself up, sitting cross-legged and setting me down a metre away from him. Taking out his wand, he mumbled a few words and I was back to normal.

I looked down at myself. Still dressed. Oh, thank god. I didn't even question why, after not wearing my clothes as a bird, I still had them on, unscraped. I was just relieved that I was not naked in front of my professor.

I know remembered him still sitting there, and when I looked at his face, I recognised worry in his expression.

"Are you okay, miss amabilia? I am so sorry you had to go through that." He sounded genuinely sorry, which made me feel guilty. I didn't want him to feel bad because of me, so I said, jokingly, "everything fine. I mean, who doesn't want to fly, right?" but my slight laugh sounded shaky and unsure.

"I am still very, very sorry. I should've done something earlier. I mean, I didn't know he would actually... and I wanted you to beat him and-"

"You couldn't have known." he couldn't hide his embarrassment. But I wasn't angry at him. I really wasn't. it wasn't his fault that Anthony had done what he had done. Sure there was a little voice in the back of my head saying "He should have helped. He didn't care enough." But that wasn't what I really thought.

"And that on the first day of my job. Do things like that happen more often?" now it was up Lupin to smile awkwardly.

"no, not really. As far as anyone except me is concerned." I joked, feeling more comfortable, sitting across from the man with the big green jumper and the corduroy pants. He pushed himself up from the floor and turned towards his desk. As he turned around again, he asked "Can I at least make it better with some hot chocolate, that always helps."

He looked disappointed. I must have looked a little disgusted by the thought.

"I don't really like hot chocolate." I was really trying to be sensitive here, but I just couldn't bring myself to lie.

"Then a cup of black tea maybe?" he looked at me in a friendly, hopeful way.

"Yes, that sounds marvellous!" I mean I am British; nothing speaks against a good old cuppa, right?

So, we both took a seat across from each other by his desk.

" Now, was that something personally between you and mister... what was his name again?"

"Anguis. And yeah kind of. I don't know what it is exactly, but I am not really popular with my house. Or any house for that matter." I didn't really want to sound like I deserved pity or I had no friends or anything. But his face didn't suggest that he thought that anyway. He looked more interested than sorry.

"I hope I am not overstepping when I ask why that is?"

"No, not at all, professor Lupin. I am neither a pureblood nor do I like the "Slytherin mentality" of superiority." miming quotes in the air with my hands "and the other houses aren't that keen on me because I am a Slytherin. It's a vicious cycle initiated by our system grouping children who are supposedly the same together and not teaching them to exist with people who are not like them." I decided I must have sounded like a bitter bitch just there, oversharing about a system I didn't like because it failed me.

"You know, miss amabilia, you are not wrong. I guess, we are also responsible for making Slytherins the way they are by stigmatising them. We are creating a purely competitive environment." He argued. And I was surprised, but not shocked, to hear Lupin talk that way about Hogwarts.

I remembered the time, and that my next class was waiting, so while I was standing up, I explained " I am really thankful for the tea, and well, the rescue. But I think I have to get going now. Next lesson, you know. Goodbye professor Lupin!"

I waved at him as I was made my way to the door, turning around one last time as I was closing the door behind me, seeing him wave as well.

"Goodbye, miss amabilia!"

This interaction will be painfully hard to remove from my thoughts today I was sure of that.

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Sorry for the wait, but I had like an 18-page essay to write. ):

Hopefully you enjoyed the new chapter!