Chapter 1

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"Kai!" Ate fen shouted when she sets the ball for me. I looked up to the ball and aim very precise to target the zone 4. That's was the always advice of coach stan. And successfully, it was the final point for us.
"I got it! I got it!" I screamed to the highest level while my teammates ran off to give me an extreme hug. My coaches tapped my head for winning that point. You'll less see coach stan smiling cause he's more like grumpy when it comes to trainings.
While I was enjoying our win, I went my sight to the other court. The lady birds won their game too. We are more likely to see ourselves as rivals since both teams were always competing for the championship. I'm on my way to college and my thoughts were running if where university I should be going— Ateneo De Manila University or De Lasalle University.  Both school offered me a great deal and I have no clue what to choose yet.
We all gathered around in a circular, "Okay, next game championship. We have to prepare for that. Copy?" Coach stan delivered.
"Copy, coach." we all answered.
We all raise our hand, "Lady Condor."
"Fly high." we all shouted.
I took my sports bag and directed my way to the comfort room. I passed on the hallway with my teammates as they were busy chattering. I focused also on my phone cause it buzzes repeatedly.
Dominique
Oh? W or L?
G! I'm worrying
Di paba tapos yung game?
I replied with: Kalma, It's a w! Gago, don't be absent na. Much more need you in championship.
Dominique
No probs kaikai, I'll make big bawi.
I opened up the second message, it was from michelle.
Michy
Goodluck love, win or lose I got you!

They wanna say hi love 😂I'm @training but we got five minutes break 😅Hey, I miss you!Can I see you tomorrow?I can wait naman after your practice Yes na yan baby ha?Oh please please!Hey! How was it?Did u won?Yes, you got it right

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They wanna say hi love 😂
I'm @training but we got five minutes break 😅
Hey, I miss you!
Can I see you tomorrow?
I can wait naman after your practice
Yes na yan baby ha?
Oh please please!
Hey! How was it?
Did u won?
Yes, you got it right. Michelle Cobb from the De Lasalle University is my girlfriend. We've been together for like almost a year now since she already know about the Lasalle offer, she aren't stopping from convincing me to join them and sometimes it changes my mood though it gives me the pressure to choose for what others want and not what I want. But I love Michelle so much. She gives me everything that I want and need. And she's always been there for me.
An honest statement, we kinda like having a hard time with our time management. She's busy- I'm busy. We often forget to reply with each messages. And they were rumours that Michelle is hanging out with a guy. I don't really believe and listen to them though I wanna focus on Michelle's statement all the time. I know she won't gonna hurt me cause she made swears with it. And she's aware of my past.
What I like the most with her is that, even she's now one of the star players of the lasalle squad she never dared to make me feel that I need to hide for her fans. We might be lowkey but michelle never denies me if someone ask her.
I smiled reading her messages then comeup with a reply: say my hi to them love!
Yes! We wonnnn.
Okay, u can sleep on my condo right after.
I press send but I drop my phone when I bump into someone. I pick my phone and heard a voice that gives me goosebumps. "Shit, I'm sorry."
I instantly look up. I know that voice. It was her—Deanna Wong.

Deanna is my 2years girlfriend. We were both schoolmates here before in University of St. Recoletos but she got recruited by the Ateneo De Manila. At her first year in Ateneo, we kinda make it work but it didn't last long though her fame boost up when she joined the Lady Eagles. We were on a private relationship cause her parents doesn't have any idea about her real identity. Her parents even embarrassed me when we were on training last last year cause they found out about us—couldn't forget that one. I really wanted to work it out but Deanna doesn't want it anymore. So, we just parted ways. It took a year before I finally get over with her, it was tough. But then, Ate Tin Tiamzon introduce Michelle to me. Ate Tin were kinda like my Ate and we were both are neighbours. Michelle and I got along immediately as we both started up with friends before we became lovers.
I never imagine any scene of me and Deanna seeing each other again. It was almost 2 years now since we haven't seen each other. She also cut her ties with me when we broke up. Deanna and I broke up improperly, she didn't really confirmed it but instead she just immediately block me off to all her social media's. I remembered one time that I texted her to meet me up, I waited all day but she didn't showed up. That was the time that I think about moving on. It wasn't easy, but I think I got a great job to it.
And now she's here, right in front of me. Staring. Gripping onto my hands cause she helped me to pick the phone up. She's looking at me. Eyes to eyes. It was the same Deanna that I have loved before. But it wasn't the same feeling anymore. No more butterflies, just unexplainable aches. It was like something entered on you to thorn up your chest. I don't want this. And I know I have to do something with it.
Her brows curled up when she familiarise me, she look surprised. "Kai?"
For an instant, I stood up. "Hey." There's no really exact words that can escape from my mouth and I think an hey is a good one.
She also stood up, stunning a look. "What-.."
"The Recoletos played here?" she changed up.
"Yeah," I force myself to smile.
"How was it?" she ask. "Sayang, di ako nakanood."
"We won." I exclaimed, beaming.
She smiled. "Good. That's so good,"
She can't remove her eyes while I, starts to feel uncomfortable now.
"How-."
"Kai!" Thank God for Ate Fen! She might come up with an how are you and I really don't have a proper respond for it.
Okay naman?
After mo kong ighost, tatanungin moko ng ganyan?
Ano ba sa tingin mo?
I may sound bitter and I don't want it.
We both face Ate Fen, Ate Fen is surprise to see Deanna too and they both greeted and embrace each other. "Kamusta ka?"
"Okay naman, Fen,"Deanna replied. "Grabe, Nag stay ka talaga sa Recoletos."
"Oo nga, loyal na loyal. Di ko iniwan." Deanna's face alter. She might interpret it in a different way maybe. Ate Fen was there when Deann's parents embarrassed me infront of plenty people. She was also there when I got back to the condo after Deanna didn't even showed up. She's also there when I can't concentrate on my trainings cause I keep on checking my phone expecting for a response from Deanna. How jape it was to reminisce that Ate Fen was always there to encounter my silent breakdowns.
"Oh? Ikaw? Kamusta yung Ateneo?" Ate Fen changes the topic.
Deanna was about to answer but I cleared my throat and they notice me. "Ugh, I need to go."
"Bye," Deanna's face says that she wants to say something and I waited for it but nothing happened.
"Uh- Kai?" My heart beat goes increasing.
I stop to face her.
"Ingat ka." I was quiet disappointed cause I was expecting for a different one.
Yep, Maybe I was just assuming afterall.
I bob at her and force myself to smile again before I continued walking. I immediately wipe off my cheeks when a little tears dropped from my eyes. Bullshit.
Maybe Deanns was really over with it.
Maybe she really do recover.
Maybe it was just nothing to her.
Maybe I'm just somehow nothing to her past.
Or maybe she wasn't considering me as her past either.
This overthinking shits makes me crazy sometimes.
To all those maybe's, I'll be the one to answer it with a yes. Deanna is a star rising player, all we had will be just nothing to her. Her fame keeps on increasing every game they have and I'm just somehow the simple girl who will remain on her closet forever. Just someone who deserves to be hide under her clothes. I support her to that one so I will start to rephrase it now:
I have to recover too.
I have to accept and move forward.
I have to not think the past and focus on what is infront of me.
I have to be happy as well and mich don't deserve to be treated like an rebound nor a recovering center.
I have to fix it and I'm going to fix it.
I went in on the shower area, removing my clothes and turned on the shower.
Things keeps on reminiscing on my mind again while I was closing my eyes. The pain is still alive in my chest. I can still feel it.
I cut the bull off  and took my phone from my bag.
I texted Dominique.
Condo later, bring beers.
Maybe I'll start there.

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