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1. You gotta stay away from her top drawer in the nightstand. It's got her Secret Service files and the stuff she needs to hide when her parents surprise visit.

2. She loves you for who you are. If she didn't, then why would she waste her time trying to change you?

3. You should definitely take it personally when she flirts with someone in front of you. It probably means you're either not giving her what she wants sexually or she finds that other guy way more attractive than you.

4. Her friends' opinions of you matter. To quote a girl group that defined a generation, The Spice Girls, "If you wanna be my lover / you gotta get with my friends."

5. She wants to have a nice relationship with your mother. Who else will teach you how to treat a lady right?

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