Hold Me Tight

Stress

Stress is a serious, deafening emotion. Stress can take over one's mind and make them moody, anxious, and cold towards those who try to help. Alyssa likes to think that she isn't all that moody or cold towards the ones in her life that are trying to help. It isn't hard to let the emotion influence how someone treats those around them. She understood that, of course, it wasn't that hard to understand. She only hopes she isn't mean. She would feel guilty as soon as she realized her sometimes harsh words. Most of the time, she was fine. She plainly needs someone to rant to, someone to help her take her mind off of the stress for a second. Someone like that is hard to find. Someone she can trust not to judge her or be disappointed by her emotions.

Alyssa was stressed a lot. She stresses, and her anxiety skyrockets with the unwanted emotions she would rather push away. But it was hard to face the world of high school without getting caught in her emotions. This time was no different. As she stared up at the woman in front of her, short blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail and stern but gentle face, she couldn't help but feel the unwanted burn of tears building behind her eyes. Why would another teacher ever tell her that Alyssa was emotional? Why couldn't the ginger keep what she saw to herself and not go against Alyssa's wishes? It wasn't that hard to follow the simple directions that a student asks when it deals with their own emotions.

The last thing Alyssa needed was for Katy Hunter to ask her what was wrong with her. The Pre-ACT stress was enough without the heavy gaze breaking her back. Disappointing this woman was all she wished not to do. Now she had to say something. She was quite obligated to say something unless she wanted more worry thrown her way.

Maybe if she snuck off, maybe if she somehow texted an SOS to the curly-headed brunette who somehow opened her mind and arms in the comforting way that Alyssa needed, maybe if that same brunette walked past the door at this exact moment to release her from the impending doom of breaking down in front of her teacher.

"What's wrong?" those two words were the breaking point. The dams that had threatened her with mean doubts and stressful anxiety were flooded and cracked beneath the pressure. She was sobbing in less than 10 seconds, maybe even 5. Why did she have to cry? Why couldn't she suck the tears up into her eyes like a vacuum? If only her eyes worked that way. She could avoid the troubles that consumed her.

Before she could stop herself, an outburst of stammered words fell from her mouth, sad little tidbits of information that only the blonde could decipher at that moment. To piece them together would be to piece a broken vase that had been shattered into a million pieces. Her words were a flow of troubled hiccups and muffled jabbering, but Katy Hunter understood the gist of it. Alyssa was thankful for her mask that covered her lower face, but she was upset that the mask couldn't cover all of it. Katy Hunter didn't need to see her like this. It would only make Alyssa feel worse about the whole situation.

Those thoughts didn't have the chance to bloom before Alyssa was pulled into the older woman's arms. Katy Hunter held her like she was a porcelain doll as if she hadn't already broken and was staining Katy's shirt with tears. Katy Hunter's touch was soft like she was fragile. There was a mix of emotions. Alyssa didn't want to feel fragile, especially in front of Katy Hunter. But the touch was liberating. It made Alyssa feel like she was allowed to be soothed and like she was allowed to cry in the presence of her teacher. It made her feel loved. Loved she was. This wouldn't be the last time someone embraced her, although it might be the favored one.

"It'll be okay. I used to get test anxiety too. You'll make it through the test. Just breathe, baby," Katy tightened the grip around her, seeming to see her as less of a fragile thing that could be broken and more of a human that needed those reassuring arms around her small frame.

After a painful and embarrassing 30 minutes, the end of school was around the corner. She had calmed down slightly but not enough to pass for a mentally stable human being. Katy Hunter had left to get her a tissue, and she had texted her SOS. She only wanted some comfort. Katy Hunter was not providing it no matter how hard she tried. Her comfort was not the same, it only made Alyssa feel slightly better, but the lingering feeling of judgment was still there to eat away at her.