Her Image (NAMJOON FIC)

Plans that got interrupted

Before 

On days as dark as that one, Tea knew exactly the sort of therapy she needed: dance studio and friendly, supportive vibes. Once she was done with her work for the day, she changed out of her business clothes and into her more comfortable dark purple tracksuit. She had previously agreed to get dinner and go to the dance studio with Jimin. 

Contrary to popular belief, Tea very much enjoyed cute clothes and dressing feminine, but she could hardly ever foster the energy and confidence to rock a cute fitted dress or a pair of heels. Instead, she preferred to hide behind dark, baggy clothes that allowed her to pass by unnoticed. 

Also contrary to popular belief, Tea was an unfortunately very straight woman. She went on as many dates as Gia did, except she felt ashamed about sharing that part of herself with most of her friends. Only her right-hand and partner in crime, Jimin, knew about her romantic mishaps. 

She knew ruminating was bad for her, but she couldn't help it: on the bus to the diner where she was supposed to meet Jimin, she stared at the last few text messages exchanged with the last one. 

You're a wonderful girl, I'm just not sure I'd want something more with you.

It's not you, it's me. 

I'd still love to continue seeing you, if that's okay?

She clenched her jaw hard; Tea had a habit of doing just that in the past when she was stressed. Outwardly, she pretended to be the most laid-back, careless persona in her friend group, but any doctor who ever treated her knew just how much stress she carried with her: from her jaw, to her back muscles and even the way she curled her toes unconsciously. 

Since she got that string of text messages from her last lover, she had gone through the entire rollercoaster of emotions. At first, she was indifferent- these sorts of things happened, or maybe it was the initial shock shielding her from her emotions. Then, she came back to the message and felt pure shame and disgust with herself- clearly, if she were good enough, at least one of them would stay? After that, unadulterated rage came- who did he think he was? He was not even good looking, rich, or interesting enough to sleep with her in the first place. She had been doing him a charity favor by allowing him to put his greasy hands on her fit body, and allowing his broke ass to spend nights in her penthouse apartment. 

And after all of that, she thought, he has the audacity to ask if we can still continue seeing each other?

Tea was like Gia, in some aspects, but her complete opposite in others. Gia would have kept quiet about something like this and cried to her entire friend group. Tea was aware that if left to her own devices, she would find the lowlife and throat-punch him before setting fire to all of his belongings for leading her on. 

When Tea got off at the bus station, she was not expecting Jimin already waiting for her there. As soon as he saw her, he extended his arms out and welcomed her in for a hug. She could no longer hold it in. Almost jumping off the bus, she collapsed into his arms. Jimin was not a very tall guy, but Tea herself was ridiculously small, so she fit right into his chest. 

"What's wrong? Why didn't you want to tell me over text?" he asked, in his incredibly soothing voice. 

"Gosh, I mean, it's so dumb- I feel bad for being sad about this," she told him.

"No, stop it," he said, brushing her hair off her face, "tell me what's bothering you. You like to downplay big things, so I'm sure something must have happened."

Tea could no longer hold it back. She felt so disgusting, bothering her friend who cared so much for her like that. She began sobbing.

"Remember.... asshole," she whimpered, "he said... too ugly."