the life of a young solo artist, who owns bighit entertainemnt
you see the realities of balancing work , school , life , relationships, mental health and schedules.
where do i begin...the first two days of november was just me at home going over and over work.ocasionally i would do school work , but it was mostly just work. the reality show has begun its publishing too. it is only one hour episodes to sum up a week worths of content. we filmed since five weeks ago so we have enough content for five weeks of release. but we are still filming for another two weeks.
the first episode that was released had a main bit for each day. the monday showed me running in and out the house every few hours because i had different schedules and then me late at night reading and laying in bed. tuesday showed me doing art and school work , the stuff that i wrote and looked at was blurred for privacy reasons but the art showed. a clip went viral on tuesday , it was when i had finished spending three hours on a canvas , holding it up and saying ( it looks horrible what is wrong with me).people used it as a meme.wednesday had a small clip of me coming in at 4am after a whole day of schedules and then staying on the phone with someone until 5am.thursday showed me not going to sleep the night before and leaving early in the morning for a shoot and coming back the next day , not sleeping and going to work again. friday showed how i took a shower and just slept. saturday showed me in the kitchen have five kiwis in a row and then watching tiktoks.sunday was not filmed.
3rd november 2020
i got up early in the morning and got changed
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me: wow i look like i haven't seen sleep in years...a very acccurate description to be honest.
the camera turned to keep up with me as i went down the corridor.snow ran up to me and i picked her up
me: shall we go? today you are going to hang out with seolhyun , i have a very busy day and i might not make it home.okay?
i turned back to go in the closet room. i covered the camera , i didn't go to the changing room but i weighed myself.
me: oh my god...
i unblocked the camera and went downstairs. i grabbed my bag , put on my mask , hat and went into a car that was waiting for me.
i spent a few hours in the office and then i met up with yoongi after he held his live video and we went to the hospital.i was so nervous , oh my god i can't even begin to explain it.i was not the one getting surgery myself. i sat in the car with him as he was on the phone with his mother.i began pulling at the skin around my fingers , biting my lips , pulling at my hair and scratching my scalp.he noticed because as he was talking to her he grabbed my wrist, pulled it away from my peeling my other hand and let go. he shook his head and put up his fingers , as a reminder that habits can be beaten. i nodded and looked outside the window , but i pulled my left hand out of his view and began unconsciously scratching my thumb with my pointer finger.
we arrived to the hospital and before he was put in surgery i stood looking at him in the bed.
me: you will recover and be better than ever. i wish you told me sooner , before it got to this.but hyung , even though you are practically guaranteed to recover. if you theoretically end up not , i will literally kill myself and have my shoulders given to you.
