On the side of his coffee cup, in perfectly written script, is written ‘No Jams’. It’s been two weeks, and still every day the barista with the nametag reading either ‘Jimin’, ‘Jeongguk’, or ‘HAPPY VIRUS’ has been intentionally writing his name in increasingly insulting ways. It started as just the wrong letters like ‘Namjun’ and ‘NanGoon’ and quickly descended into a downward spiral of rude.
Today is particularly insulting, at least in Namjoon’s opinion. It is so bad, in fact, that he had nearly broken his resolve that morning of ‘don’t let the shit get the satisfaction of your irritation’ as he’d nearly walked back to the counter and demanded an answer for this sass.
It’s been over a week and a half since Namjoon realized the little shit barista with the cute perky smile has been intentionally messing with him. It’s been exactly twelve days since Namjoon decided the best course of action was to completely ignore him (even more than he previously had done).
Today had been a test of his will not to go up to the smiling barista named who knows what and demanding why he’s making Namjoon’s life harder than it ever should be.
“Who does this kid think he is?” Namjoon is still not over this by the time he gets to the office and actually has to look Seokjin in the smirking know-it-all face.
“Your barista,” Seokjin says, looking thoroughly amused that Namjoon can’t deal with a café boy who smiles like he’s made of jelly beans. Actually taking Namjoon’s coffee from him, he checks the name that’s written today. “You know, I thought he’d run out of material, but I have to say I’m actually impressed.”
“I have plenty of jams,” Namjoon is saying. It’s horrible, because Namjoon shouldn’t even be talking about this right now. They have a couple that literally tries to strangle each other every time they’re here coming in a half hour, and yet Namjoon is still pissed about his barista problem. “What is this shit?”
“This is so much better than all of those clichés ever made it sound,” Seokjin is saying, laughing, because he always seems to enjoy when Namjoon is pushed over his proverbial line.
“What clichés?” Namjoon asks, taking an irritated busy no-nonsense sip of his coffee. His perfect coffee. It’s so stupid because his barista is absolute trash when it comes to spelling his name properly but still takes the time and effort to make his coffee perfectly.
“Has he ruined your coffee yet?” Seokjin asks, his pretty mouth quirked.
“No.” This conversation has to stop. Namjoon has it every morning.
“And yet he’s making a point to spell your name wrong so you notice it and, by extension, him,” Seokjin continues, with that look on his face suggesting Namjoon is being slow on purpose and, by extension, stubborn.
“Stop looking at me like that,” Namjoon says, taking the final sip of his coffee. He puts it on his desk, along with all the other coffee cups from the last few weeks with his name spelled wrong. He’s been meaning to throw them out; he just hasn’t had time. So there they are, lined up, mocking him.
“How am I looking at you exactly?” Seokjin asks, still smirking as he watches Namjoon with demon twinkle eyes. “Come on, you’re a smart man. Put the puzzle together.”
Namjoon pauses, turning to Seokjin as he catches the tone of his voice and frowning in an effort to dissuade him from continuing with this nonsense. “No,” Namjoon tells him firmly. “This isn’t your stupid weird romance fanfic I know you read on your phone during breaks. This is just a barista making my life hard.” Seokjin doesn’t appear at all deterred and Namjoon has to close his eyes so he doesn’t get more irritated by the look on his face. “Go pester Taehyung if you want your café romance come to life.”
“But Taehyung’s life is all actual clichés,” Seokjin reminds, leaning his hip against Namjoon’s desk. “We both know that his life is straight out of a movie somehow. The kid actually draws hearts on Taehyung’s cup.”
“And you know this how?” Namjoon asks, one eyebrow raised.
“Tae gave me his coffee accidentally the other day,” Seokjin shrugs. “Imagine my surprise when I had a bouquet of hearts and a phone number on my coffee cup from a guy I’d never met.”
“That must be so rare for you,” Namjoon drawls dryly, throwing a look his way before trying to focus. They need to be in the conference room in twenty minutes for their clients and he needs their paperwork, not Seokjin’s stupid theories on ‘love’.
They’re divorce lawyers. They know better than to believe that these stupid little romances actually mean something.
The barista down the street on Namjoon’s way to the café doesn’t have a weird backwards crush on Namjoon. He’s just annoying, and has somehow singled Namjoon out among his line of customers to irritate and try to get a rise out of and-
“Denial doesn’t look good on you,” Seokjin hums, stepping closer and plucking the folder Namjoon had been looking for from under a pile of papers. “It kind of makes the whole thing better, though I do have sympathy for your barista.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s clearly trying so hard,” Seokjin says, looking almost pitying as he reaches up and gently pokes Namjoon’s cheek. “No Jams.”
The pleased smile on Seokjin’s face at his own jest is enough to give Namjoon the full motivation he needs to drop the whole thing. It doesn’t bother him. There are worse things in life he could be dealing with than a cute barista making a point to be annoying. Next time, he’ll just send Taehyung to get his morning coffee so he never has to see the barista and get agitated like this again.
Of course, it’s half way through the meeting with their belligerent clients that Namjoon realizes just as the wife begins screaming over her husband’s collection of action figures that ‘he always loved more than her’ that he would actually miss his morning coffee routine if he sent Taehyung instead.
In that moment, Namjoon realizes that the best part of his day is going into a café to get his morning venti macchiato from a barista that insults him daily. This is as thought provoking as it is vaguely masochistic, and something that Seokjin cannot, at any cost, ever find out.
YOU ARE READING
❞Venti Macchiato, please.❝ minjoon ✔
Fanfiction[complete] Namjoon didn't know that sometimes, a barista is all it takes to make your morning routine skid to a halt and open your eyes.
