Love and Loneliness

The Moment of Abandonment

I had eighteen months left when the Cullen's vanished.
"Bella!"

Shouts of my sisters name screamed through the forest, mine frantic and one of them.
The Cullen's had left. I knew that they hadn't taken Bella with them, and I knew that she was lost out in the trees.
Her party was a nightmare. She cut her finger and Jasper lost it.
The small trickle of blood ended up as a broken arm and Edward decided that staying would be too dangerous for Bella and I, and he left.
"Bella!" I screamed again, desperate and scared and close to reaching my limit.
I swear Bella, you better be ok!

I took a deep breath, on the verge of not only using powers that had left me coughing blood in their last use, but using them further than I had ever stretched them.
I had just began stretching my reach across the forest, searching frantically for Bella's thoughts when the call was shouted through the woods.

"I've found her!"
It was Sam, one of Jake's old friends.
"Oh thank God." I breathed.
Relieved, I began walking back home when the headache hit.
"Oh." I groaned, stumbling.
"Just a bit further."

"Jake?"
I looked up at the voice.
"Hey there Julie." He grinned, "Bella's been found."
"I heard." I huffed, leaning into his arms as he led me home.
"I started walking back when my headache got bad. I think the stress got to me a bit."
Jake smiled sadly. "You need to take it easy. You know that."
His grip got a bit tighter.
"I know, I know."

I had gotten worse over the past six months. I had a year and a half left of my life and dad had officially taken me out of school. He insisted on home schooling me, but I was failing. I wasn't graduating anyway so who cared?
So when Rose sent word that Edward had decided to leave and Bella still wasn't in my prison, I ran out into the forest where she had last been seen.
The only place outside of home I was allowed to go was Jake's—which had been a struggle but I won by saying that it made me feel happy, and therefore better—and the Cullen's because dad was sure that Carlisle could take better care of me than anyone else, so this had been a strange feeling, being outside of the house by myself. And it was totally not allowed.
"Please, for me." Jake's warm breath felt good on my neck.
"I promise, I'll do better."

We reached home and there I saw Bella, half unconscious and in the arms of the suddenly massive Sam Uley.
"Is she ok?" I ran over to Sam, ignoring Jake's pleas for me to take it slow.
"Yeah," Sam frowned at me, or was it at Jake behind me? "She just keeps muttering, 'he's gone'."
I sighed sadly, "the Cullen's left earlier today," I explained.
It wasn't hard to see the happiness on Sam's face at that.
I wonder if the werewolf clan thing was more than a tribe tale.
"Bella!" Dad noticed us and ran over, asking the same question I had asked.
"Juliet, you're bleeding!" I felt under my nose at dad's words. I didn't even feel it anymore, they just felt normal now.
"I'll take her inside Charlie." Jake said, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"Thank you Jake," dad sighed, "you're a blessing."
I leaned on Jake until we were inside and grabbed his hand to walk up the stairs.
"Thanks Jake." I murmured tiredly, sitting on my bed.

"I know this isn't the time-"
I cut him off with a sigh. "Please Jake, no."
"No please Julie!"
"I won't be your girlfriend Jake! I won't do that to you!"
"Why?" He cried.
"You know why!" I couldn't meet his eyes, "I'm dying and I won't let you get attached romantically when I can just go anytime in the next year."
Jake stayed silent, knowing my speech by heart by now, I hated this speech, it hurt so much.
"We are friends, and we fool around a bit. That's all."

He didn't let me say another word, and his lips were on mine. Rough and soft at the same time. He was so gentle, delicate with me, but our kisses always conveyed his feelings so easily. He felt hurt, he felt angry, he felt loss.
"I love you Juliet." It was a murmur against my lips that my mind ignored, but my heart pushed for tears. I love you Jake.