Falling Helplessly

Chapter 40 | Stay Open

40

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ISABELLA

Studying for finals is like ripping your hairs out, one by one.

After Lucas' party, it was busy time. That was the last hoorah before everyone buried themselves in their dorms, apartments, or the cafe with their nose wedged in a textbook.

I've spent countless nights at the library rereading, rewriting, and reciting my lecture notes, trying to brand the material into my brain. And now, I'm in desperate need of a break. I dress in something cute to boost my self-esteem, grab my purse, and head to the farmers' market in the city.

The weather is beautiful, and you can feel summer creeping into Philadelphia. The sun beats down on my skin, causing tiny beads of sweat to trickle down my forehead, but I don't mind. It feels refreshing.

I walk down the sidewalk, stopping at different huts to look at the fresh produce available. I purchase some peaches and cucumbers and eat the sweet fruit while I look at other tents.

My eyes drift up, taking in the skyscrapers surrounding me. Of course, right there in the center is Cunningham Tech. The gigantic building where Miles spends most of his days. Part of me wonders if he's up there now and does not know I'm down here.

I've been doing okay. I've refrained from reaching out to him because the last time we talked, I put the fate of our relationship on his shoulders. But the silence these past couple of weeks tells me he's decided. It hurts, I still cry in the shower, but I have to keep pushing forward.

Like metal to a magnet, I walk toward the hut overflowing with freshly picked flowers. They have copious options: roses, sunflowers, tulips, baby's breath, the list goes on. I fight the urge to buy one of every and settle for a bouquet of white roses, sunflowers, and baby's breath. This will look beautiful in our apartment.

"Thank you." I hand the woman cash and then take my purchases to the cafe down the street. I'm in dire need of iced coffee.

The AC from the building instantly soothes my hot skin. After ordering my drink, I retire to the couches by the front windows and pull out my phone.

My pleasant mood instantly turns sour, and my heart pounds in my chest like a hammer on cloth when I see I have a missed call and text message from Miles.

"Hey, I know this is random, but I was wondering if you wanted to talk. Call me if you can - Miles"

I set my phone down.

Well, I must've spoken too soon. I'm not sure why he suddenly reached out, just as I'm getting better. I know I should ignore it and not reopen old wounds, but I'm too nosey to decline his offer. So, I pick up my phone and click call.

He answers on the second ring. "Hey."

My stomach bottoms out at the sound of his voice.

"Hey," I say.

"Are you at your apartment?"

I grip the arm of the chair for support. "No, I'm not. I'm in Philly."

"Oh." It goes silent between us. "Well, I know this is long overdue, but I have some explaining to do, and I was wondering if you wanted to get together to talk."

My heart flutters, and I silently curse at it, telling it to stop. I don't want to get my hopes up. I tell myself this is just a conversation for closure.

"Yeah, we can," I say, calm and emotionless.

"Do you want me to meet you at your apartment?"

I say no and tell him to meet me at the cafe I'm currently in. Before we hang up, he tells me he'll be there soon. I stare out the window, watching people I don't know walk past, unable to control my feelings.