“Skye! Skye, wake up!” Someone was quickly yelling out my name. I looked up to see that I was lying on what seemed to be a giant, white, fluffy cloud. To my surprise, clouds surrounded me and I didn’t fall through them. I turned round and round, my blond hair playing in the wind, until I finally saw a figure emerge through the fog. He was tall and extremely pale, like me. His almost white skin glittered like the dew you find on grass on an early spring morning. As he walked closer to me I could sort of make out his face. I gasped and sat up. It was my brother! My dead brother that is, Nicolas. I ran over to hug him but as I wrapped my arms around his thin body I found that he wasn’t physically there. He was just a mere sliver of my memory and imagination. “Hello, Skye,” he whispered. I almost cried with joy seeing his face. I was dead, I knew it but Nicolas was there so it was all okay. I stared at him. “No, you’re not dead,” he said when he saw the expression my pale, fear stricken face wore. I sighed with relief. Those four short words meant so much to me. “And yes, you’re in heaven,” he continued answering my second question. “You’re not dead yet Skye, but who knows what could happen. I mean, you were hit by a car and that is often considered…well, very bad,” he informed me slowly with hidden humor. Suddenly, I couldn’t do it anymore. It all came out at once. Tears poured down my face as I sobbed hysterically. I hated crying but I didn’t care. Why should I? I knelt down on the cloud and let my head fall between my shaking knees. I still hadn’t said a word to Nicolas. I was too afraid that if I did, he would slip away into the air like a small stretch of wind, moving on. “Don’t be sad. I know, I know but-” I stopped him with just one shattered look.
“It’s too late,” I cried. He might have tried to say ‘maybe not’ but I wouldn’t let him. “I had the time but I never lived life. I was always too sad, or tired, or angry with someone and I never even lived. I never made the best of anything I could have,” I looked down again. “I wasted life, Nicolas,” I whispered. No one talked for what seemed like eternity, but I needed to know: “Am I dead now?” He laughed a brisk and quiet laugh and shook his head.
“No,” He said. I didn’t even feel relieved this time, though. It meant nothing to me. I just asked him what would happen if I didn’t die. I mean, it didn’t really matter. “Then you go back down and live life at fullest. Start again,” he smiled and gave me a hug that I couldn’t feel. I wiped my eyes and slowly nodded.
“Ok. Ok, I will. Your time on earth might be over Nicolas, but not mine, right? I’m in a dream. Just a dream. You said it yourself. I’m not dead and I don’t plan to be. I mean, I don't have to hate life. I could make friends. It could happen. This is one of…the angels or whatever…one of their little plans to make me happy. Everyone should be happy, right? Everyone deserves that, I guess,” I replied between hiccups. It was one of those times where your voice sounds all broken and clogged up from crying but my brother didn’t seem to mind. “I’m ready. Or as ready as I’ll ever be because you know I’m stubborn and I don’t change my mind very often. Especially about big things,” I paused then told him I was happy to see him after 4 years. Then we waited. I don’t know what for, but I couldn’t stand the silence to I asked him my longing question. “Can I go back down to my life now?” I paused. “Or what’s left of it,” I forced a smile at him and stood up once again. I looked down through a little whole in the cloud and saw a small town down below. I didn’t bother asking which town because I knew. It was my city. My house was somewhere down there. Nicolas looked into my eyes and then glanced down at the gorgeous silver watch he wore around his wrist. He didn’t meet my eyes. It was like he couldn’t.
“No,” was the only word that he said. He said it so softly, quietly, and with very little movement of his lips. He said it in a way that almost seemed as it hurt him to talk. I gulped and let a tear slip from one of my puffy, red eyes. I returned his quiet language except I asked him why not. He wouldn’t say anything. He just looked at me with a look that cut into me like a razor sharp knife. It reminded me of one of those looks the doctors give to the patients in movies when they’re about to tell them that they’re going to…die. I then understood. My legs started to shake and I felt so sick. My head felt like it was going to explode. I thought I was going to die in heaven, as ironic as it is. Nicolas opened his mouth slowly. “You didn’t die when the car hit you, Skye. You fell asleep. The driver must’ve called the police because your body is in the ambulance now, with the paramedics.” He paused and I looked down at my pale figure. It didn’t make sense. My body was here with me and how can a body down there have no soul inside it, unless…Nicolas spoke in words my now clear train of thought. His brow turned inward.
“Skye, I have always loved you, you’re my little sister! I am so sorry but I have to tell you…..you died in the ambulance,” I let out a big puff of air and another lonely tear came sliding down my face. There had to be something I could do. Nothing should be punished with death.
“No. That’s not the end, I…” my words slid away along with heaven. Everything was spinning and my vision was getting worse and worse, darker and darker. Nicolas, the beautiful clouds and the blue skies, all gone. I felt like I was falling through air. I tried to scream but I had no voice. That was when I realized that I was dead. No life. I love you Mom and Dad. I’m so sorry. I wish I could try again.
