A Broken Road

A Broken Road- 11

The next two weeks were hard. I was still crying myself to sleep over my mom. I was still in excruciating mourning for my mom, but I felt like it got easier every day to find happiness.  For most of the time, I stayed cooped up in the room I'd been spending my time redecorating for some unknown person. Except for a few outings when I'd go to lunch with Kelly at a burger place she'd shown to me that's inland and far, far away from Ben and his stupid shack of drama. 

After I got home from the shack, I'd told Alex what happened, but other than that, I haven't spoken to him much. Just a little bit of annoyed bickering when we crossed paths. I rarely see Charlie and I've noticed he's a bit of a workaholic, which explains all of the money.

Ricky had been calling me nonstop, and it was getting a bit annoying. I just couldn't speak to him, I couldn't get over my anger that I knew he doesn't deserve. Sure, I was mad that he cheated on me, but the anger I had towards him was unfair because I was mad at him for killing my mom and if I spoke to him, I'd snap his head off in the first sentence. Anna, however, still won't call me at all. I've left her three more voicemails- Nothing. I'm beginning to give up on her. But losing my mom, boyfriend, and my best friend just hurt too much to even think about, let alone comprehend.

Today marks a month to the day of my mother's death. I'd been "living" in that house for three weeks already, and I couldn't say that I particularly liked it there. It was still lonely, but I was trying to adjust. Timmy helped, since I talked to him a lot. He was really the only person I could hold a true conversation with except for Kelly.

I mean, Kelly had become a great friend. We could laugh and have a good time, but I couldn't ruin that by talking to her about deep things like death and loss. Maybe it wouldn't ruin our friendship, but I still didn't feel like we were close enough to talk about things like that. Nobody except for Charlie even knew about my mom, Ricky, Anna, or any of my Indiana drama. I hadn't opened up to anybody and I highly doubted I would for a while.

I got up that morning, ready to put the finishing touches on the room that I'd designed on my own. Within a few hours of the morning, it was completely finished. Perfect. Whoever I designed this for will love it, because it wasn't me.

The walls were dark purple, making the room look small and cozy, with colorful wax drooling down them like it was oozing from the ceiling. I don't know how long it would stick, but it looked pretty for now. The bed was decorated in simple dark purple sheets and pillow cases with a thick, faux fur blanket. It was a simple gray and marbled with black streaks. It was incredibly soft to the touch, it felt like sleeping inside of a cloud. On the canvas wall, I hung huge plush letters that spelled out "dream" and outlined the ceiling with colorful Christmas lights. They draped along the walls and brightened the room with colorful light without the actual lights being on. I put simple black drapes over the balcony and windows, hiding every ounce of light even on the brightest of days. My light wood dresser was dressed with pictures of me and Timmy, me and Anna, and my mother. Along with a few paintings that I've made or that my mom made and gave to me. There was a nightstand that matched the dresser and on top of it, rested my laptop and cell phone with a small picture of my mom on it. The carpet was, oh so surprisingly, black and shaggy.

After gawking at the perfection of the room for a while, I decided that it was time to do something with the rest of the day. I went downstairs and grabbed a bag of salt and vinegar chips before curling into a ball on the cozy leather couch in the living room while turning on Dear John, one of my favorite movies. Alex was nowhere to be seen so I assumed that he was out with friends, like most of the time. Or maybe he was with Jesse, since they got back together last week. I stayed out of how and why, but she's been around the house a few times since then. Charlie was obviously at work, like he always is. I decided that it was going to be a peaceful day today.